Weddings Including Children


Children Involvement In Wedding Ceremonies & Wedding Planning

If you’re bringing children from a previous relationship, ‘what will the children do on the wedding day?’. Whatever you do, don’t leave this until the last moment.

If you are trying to think of a way to involve a child in your second wedding there are plenty of imaginative and exciting ways children can be involved, especially in the ceremonies. Having children from a previous relationship, whether the bride, the groom, or both, the question to address very early on is ‘what will the children do on the wedding day?’. Whatever you do, don’t leave this until the last moment.

The roles which come easily to mind are bridesmaids (for second marriages with older children), ring bearers (page boys), best man or maid of honor, again for older children, flower girls, and ushers- and if everyone is willing there is a lot to be said for this. Even if you are planning a very small civil wedding, it is still a good excuse to have those extra special outfits bought for the children, as long as they are ones they will enjoy wearing! And do tread carefully here.

Adam and Olivia involved their children in all the details of planning the wedding, and arranged that on the day itself their minister would add special vows for children in a second marriage. This was so that the children could be asked if they promised to love and honor their mother’s new partner. A loud and firm ‘We do’ was heard by all present. In turn Adam was asked if he would love and support the children from now on. He was delighted to assert with conviction ‘I do.’

Lara told me that her children, ages five and nine, became so involved in the planning of her second wedding that it was as if they viewed themselves as getting married too, and began to speak of ‘our wedding.’ So, you can see how children’s involvement in the wedding ceremonies and the planning of them can make all the difference.

family medallion ceremony

Cindy, who had two daughters of her own and was marrying Bill with three daughters, found a way of turning the whole wedding into a hive of activity. Luckily, all the girls loved being creative and involved with making things. She asked their advice, and then they set to making wedding favors, head-dresses, and table decorations. The more involvement the girls had in the planning, the more excited they became. And more importantly, more in touch with each other as stepsisters.149

But proceed with some caution. Some older children prefer to be heard but not seen, so they may be happy to sing at a parent’s wedding. Others may offer to contribute by reading a poem which can be incorporated into the service. Rosemary played a harp as her mother remarried. One daughter volunteered to paint a scene showing the whole ‘new’ family which decorated a wall in the church hall where they held the reception.

Children love to be consulted about details so encourage them to suggest colors, flowers, and even wedding music, even though their taste might be in question. Ten-year-old Robin said he wanted to provide wedding bubbles. As so he did. It was arranged for him to work a bubble machine when his mother and her new husband came out of the church.

Children Involvement In Wedding Ceremonies

Ways to include the kids

Be sensitive to the children’s feelings and remember kids are often shy, so be sure to have some ‘behind the scenes’ jobs available. Second marriages with older children are terrific because they can obviously offer more help and take on more difficult tasks. They can help address the wedding invitations; a younger child can stuff the envelopes and glue the postage stamps. Feeling really creative? Have the children make the wedding invitations! If you are having a reception at home, the children can be even more inventive by decorating their own space, and any ‘hands on’ ideas you can have will make them feel a part of it all. family1249

If a child is reluctant to be involved in any activity, and there may be many reasons for this, respect their point of view and never force a child’s involvement. Gently remind them that their presence is of great importance and that will be enough if that’s where their comfort level remains. But do make sure there is a photograph taken of all of you on the day.

Remember you are beginning to create memories and a history for your new family. So, although this is your wedding day, if either already has a child of any age, you are marrying and blending a family. So listen to the kid’s suggestions; they may have ideas which will surprise you. And don’t forget to give each child a well-chosen wedding gift as a ‘thank you’ memento of the wedding.

Suggested Posts

These 10 romantic Limor Rosen wedding gowns are perfect for a destination wedding. And we’re loving each and every one of these delicate designs. Dive in and pay attention to all the small, intricate detailing.

0 184.3k
Share

These Jacy Kay couture wedding gowns will absolutely knock your socks off and have you daydreaming of the moment you walk down the aisle! Dreamy designs, dramatic entrances and gorgeous colors all come together in these elaborate dresses.

0 184.3k
Share
Colorful Wedding Gowns for Older Brides

If this is your second marriage or you decided to hold off on getting married until later on in life, you may not feel like a white wedding gown is the right choice for you. But, have no fear, there are tons of beautiful dresses full of colorful, bridal style. Blue is said to be …

0 184.4k
Share

The Ceremony to bless a marriage (a couple who has already married civilly, outside the church), otherwise known as the Marriage Blessing Ceremony Background: Marriage as a social institution is as old as the human race. It was “instituted of God” in the Garden of Eden (Gen. 1:27–28; 2:18, 24) and obviously is not of …

0 184.3k
Share

These BHLDN wedding gowns are so romantic and sweet. There are unique elements and trendy ideas involved – and we’ve fallen in love with every one of the designs. Take a peek!

0 184.3k
Share
Winter Destination Wedding Gowns

If you’re jetting off during the colder months of the year to say, “I do,” and celebrate, then you’ll need a dress that pays homage to that spirit. These gowns seem to have a luxury feel yet casual enough appeal to do well during a destination wedding. Let’s take a peek! Flowing in a crisp …

0 184.3k
Share