Renewing Vows at Catholic Church

renewing vows at catholic church/
photo credit: marcp_dmoz via photopin cc

Vow Renewal Question: Hello everyone I am new to this site and I need some help. My husband and I got married this last June in a courthouse. I want to renew our vows in a catholic church. He is Roman Catholic but I am not. (but he has not been to church since he was little). What is the process we go through to renew our vows at the church even though I’m not roman catholic? I read something about how our marriage has to be blessed. I would greatly appreciate it if i can get any information. Thank you so much.

Remarriage Expert

You’re talking about several different issues here. Let’s clarify.

First, the vow renewal isn’t always a religious experience, although it can be. However, I would think the priest (diocese) would insist on performing that service only when the couple is both of the Catholic faith. I’ll let our expert on Catholisim speak to that. But, the vow renewal is usually done for couples on a benchmark anniversary or after some years of adversity. Please see our page on vow renewal ceremonies and vow renewal etiquette for more information.

A blessing of the marriage, or convalidation ceremony in the catholic church sounds more like what you want, but you’ll have to convert to catholism to do that.

My more important question is why do you want this service? Once you/we have the answer to that question maybe we can help guide you further.

Kay and Dennis Flowers – Authors of Catholic Annulment, Spiritual Healing

The site administrator is correct that what you are seeking is a convalidation ceremony rather than a vow renewal. There is an article explaining convalidation on the left hand side of this site.

As for whether or not you need to convert to Catholicism, that is not as clear. There are some points of canon (Church) law that are left up to each diocesan bishop to interpret. It would be wise to have a heart-to-heart talk with a priest to find out your diocese’s policy is on convalidation of marriage for interchurch couples.

We are an interchurch couple who married in a Protestant church with dispensation acquired from the priest and with the full blessing of the Catholic Church. It can be done, so please talk with a priest who will be able to advise you. He will also ask whether either of you have been married before. If so, an annulment will need to be granted before the Church can convalidate and bless your present marriage.

It would also be wise to consider the reason why you wish to be married in the Catholic Church, as the site administrator suggested. If you are being pressured, that is one thing. If you want to show support for your husband’s faith tradition, that is commendable.

God bless and guide you.

Reverend Susanna-Joining Hands and Hearts: Interfaith, Intercultural Wedding Celebrations : A Practical Guide for Couples

It would be best to speak with a few priests, as I have heard varying stories from my couples. The Catholic Church may not recognize the civil ceremony and may treat it as a first time marriage. Secondly, if you were baptized as as Christian, you may be able to marry in the church with some stipulations. I would check with a few parishes.


Kay and Dennis Flowers-Authors of Catholic Annulment, Spiritual Healing

Just some further clarification.

In a civil service, the couple is already married in the eyes of the state, but not in the eyes of the Church, if one or both spouses are Catholic, so the only wedding ceremony they could have in the Church would be a marriage convalidation.

In a courthouse wedding, the Catholic spouse will have married outside the Church, which is considered sin and for which he/she will need to go to confession.

Here’s where it starts to get sticky. Normally, the Church views this type ofmarriage as valid but not sacramentally binding and therefore the marriage must be annulled by filing for an annulment under the “defect of form” process.

This is definitely the case in a divorce but not when a couple is still married and wishes to remain so. All marriages are considered valid, unless proven otherwise by a tribunal.

In addition, since many points of canon (church) law are left up the interpretation of each diocesan bishop, there may be variations to this rule, especially if the non-Catholic spouse wishes to convert to Catholicism. Then the couple will need to start proceedings for the convalidation. There should be no sexual relations between the spouses until after the convalidation ceremony and they will have to fill out some paperwork for the diocese.

As Rev. Susanna has so wisely advised, you need to talk to a few priests and find out what the diocesan policy is and proceed from there. Sometimes you need a canon lawyer to explain this more clearly!

[divider scroll_text=””]


Renewing Vows At Church Question: I was married for a short time in 2001. That marriage took place outside and was officiated by a non-denominational person. I was legally divorced a short time later.

Then in 2003 I was married again and my husband and I had the ceremony at the courthouse. I am Catholic. I have been Baptized, had my First Communion and First Confession. I have not been Confirmed. My husband is not Catholic, but is interrested in becoming Catholic. We would like to renew our vows on our 5 year anniversary because we feel that we have grown so much over the last few years, that we really truly understand the full sacarament of marriage and want to reconfirm that. We would like to renew our vows in the Catholic Church. Is this something that we could do?

Kay and Dennis Flowers-Authors of Catholic Annulment, Spiritual Healing

Yes, we believe it is possible to renew your vows in the Catholic Church. However, consult your priest. You will first need to have any previous marriages annulled and your present marriage blessed by the Church. According to the information you gave us, your previous marriage was outside the Church, so for Catholics who marry outside the Church there is a shortened form to fill out. You can probably renew your vows when you get your present marriage blessed. If you want to wait until your husband completes his RCIA, the ceremony will be even more blessed for you because you will then be welcomed to receive the Eucharist together. Check with your priest for a possible time-line for accomplishing this.

Deacon Bob Tousey
Independant catholic Deacon

When you say that your first marriage was by a non denominational “person” I assume you mean a Christian non denominational Minister. If that is the case, I believe that you would have to go through the annulment process before the Catholic church would bless the second marriage. The annulment requires there be a defect in the marriage “contract” something that would make the first marriage invaild. The tribunials have been taking a broad view in this area. However, it is a long process taking anywhere from one to two years. Your former spouse and witnesses will be contacted.

However, if you are committed to this I think it is a good idea for you. If your husband is interested in becoming Catholic he should contact the local parish about the RICA program and get that moving while you move forward with the annulment process. Then you can have your marriage blessed once the annulment is completed.

It is not required for your husband to become Catholic but if he wants to it would be nice for him to complete the RICA program and be brought into the church. This response assumes that your husband has not been married before and he has no impediments to marriage. Best wishes and God Bless.

Frieda Arpoika
Catholic Lay Pastoral Minister
St. Daniel Catholic Community

A baptized Catholic’s marriage is only valid if either celebrated with a Catholic priest or deacon presiding or if a dispensation was granted by the diocese so the marriage can be performed by a non-Catholic minister and still be valid in the eyes of the Catholic Church. If you did not get a dispensation from the Catholic Church than your marriage was not valid if performed by a non-Catholic minister. Therefore you can apply for what is called a “Lack of Form Application for Annulment” which usually only takes a few weeks because it is based on the fact that your first marriage did not “follow proper (canon law) form”.

You’ll need a newly issued copy of your baptismal certificate from your parish of baptism, with “NOTATIONS” which would record if there has been a Catholic marriage. Also your marriage certificate and divorce decree and you can go to your parish and sign that application. Your parish will send the application in to the diocese and also assist you in a “convalidation” of your vows. Parished do “convalidations” of existing civil marriages all the time, and it is a great way to raise your already existing civil marriage to the level of a sacramental marriage – and return into full communion with your Catholic Church.

Suggested Posts

step parenting

Thinking of marrying again? While this is a lovely concept, remarriage with kids after divorce needs to be thought through. If you’ve already been though a rough divorce or your spouse has died, it gets complicated when children are involved. Remarriage and children gets even more complicated if your groom also has kids. While many single parents …

0 3.8k
Guacamole in Cocktail Glasses with Crisps Dipped In

Pump up your cocktail hour with great sips and a lot of bites that satisfy. Instead of getting far too fancy with your dishes, create beautiful presentations of some of the classics. These 13 fingers foods make fabulous hors d’oeuvre options and we urge you to think about incorporating them into your big day. One …

0 3.5k

These beautiful Roberto Motti wedding gowns will make you swoon and daydream about the day you say, “I do!” Full of romance, sensuality and womanly shapes, this designer creates a gorgeous variety of dresses.

0 3.9k

On top of you wedding planning to-do list?  Have your venue, caterer and DJ lined up?  Kudos!  As you plan your big day, it is important to remember the legal components of your marriage.  Filing for your marriage license is an important to-do that can be left to the last minute. It is vital to …

0 3.5k
second time bride tips

  It may not be your first time down the aisle, but that doesn’t mean there’s less planning to do! Use the following checklist to make your second wedding wonderful and special: 12 or More Months Before Decide on the guest list If you have children, ask them to be part of the wedding party …

0 4.2k

Do I Have To Wear A Fancy Gown To My Second Wedding? Question I am a 55 yr old divorcee and he is a 58 yr old widower. We are getting married in a church. The idea of tripping down the aisle in a fancy gown gives me the heeby jeebies and so I wonder if …

0 8.5k