Already Married, Now Time For The Ceremony


Question: My husband is in the army and we are just now able to have a ceremony due to deployments. We’ve set the date (for the third time…crossing our fingers) now we need to know how to go about invitations.

First of all how should we word the invitations? He and I are paying for everything so how should we word the invites? Do I use my maiden name or do we say Mr. and Mrs.? Do we say join us for our wedding ceremony and reception? Second of all, all of our family will be coming from out of town. What do I need to do about save the date cards? How soon in advance should they be sent out?

Remarriage Expert

You’re already married and have been so for almost 2 years now. You cannot be married again. So, we cannot offer suggestions to word invitations for this event. Perhaps waiting to have a vow renewal ceremony for a significant anniversary is in order? If you would like to have your marriage blessed in church there are ceremnuies to service those needs. Please use the navigation at left of the page to find more information on those ceremonies.

Rebecca Black, Etiquette Consultant, Etiquette Now

I completely agree. Just ask yourself these same questions. How could you write an invitation for a wedding for married people? How could you use your maiden name when it isn’t yours to use anymore? So, would you invite guests to a wedding for Mrs. and Mr. Already Married?

Even a belated wedding reception wouldn’t be appropriate at this late date. It would be more of an anniversary party since you have been married for more than a year. Please read more about vow renewal etiquette for a future vow renewal. These should never appear to be a wedding, so need to be planned very carefully.

Well I didn’t ask if I could or should have a wedding. I want a wedding ceremony and a wedding reception. I guess things are different when you’re in the military. They don’t care that you’ve picked a date to get married they deploy you anyway and I won’t let them take away the day that I have dreamed about since childhood. It is going to be a small ceremony with family and close friends on the guest list. I’m sure however I word the invitations they will know what I mean. Thank you anyway!

Rebecca Black, Etiquette Consultant, Etiquette Now

We all have choices. You decided two years ago to marry. It was a wedding, whether or not it was the one you wanted. And, it is your choice now to plan this.

This doesn’t have anything to do with the military though. The rules are the same for everyone.

Remarriage Expert

Maybe you should have waited for your man to return home to have the wedding you wanted.

The reason you’re having difficulty wording such an invitation is becuse it’s an improper event. As rebecca said, you made a choice and amrried. After being married for so long, it just doesn’t make sense to host a wedding.

We cannot possibly tell you how to word an invitation to an event that is improper. Sorry.

Suggested Posts

vow renewal ceremony

Renewal Advice: Echo the Sentiments, but Make it Different The process of renewing your vows should be an incredibly joyous occasion. Your second chance to say ‘I do’ reaffirms your commitment to each other and the day should be just as important as your wedding day. No matter whether you’re renewing your vows for the …

1 3.8k
second wedding attire

  One of the great things about organising a second wedding is that there are no solid expectations in mind in the same way that there can be with your first wedding. Certain traditions and customs may not play such an important role in the day and this can give you the chance to be …

0 4.6k

If you want to feel like a vintage princess on the day you say, “I do,” you’ll want to check out some Victorian-inspired wedding gowns first! Between the voluminous skirts and gorgeous details, we’re certain you’ll find one you’d like to try on for size!

0 4.7k

The task of creating a wedding registry can be a lot of fun for a couple. However, it can also be confusing deciding what belongs on the list and what does not. Well, if you find yourself a little disoriented and unsure, we are here to help you. Below we have a few wedding registry …

0 3.5k

Brace yourself for some of the most stunning designs we’ve laid our eyes on in a while. With a couture twist, these 10 Steven Khalil wedding gowns will take your breath away.

0 4k

Tony Ward has a plethora of sophisticated and sweet wedding gowns for a variety of brides. And these 10 favorites from the spring 2016 collection have us swooning with romance and storybook details. Let’s have a look!

0 3.8k