Parental Unity Rules. Building a Solid Parenting Team.
Parental unity is important in any family. A parenting team that is divided will not succeed. There are certain rules that will help make your team solid and united. They will help keep you on the same side and make working together better.
You should be proactive. This involves acting early. Before something happens, try talking about it, anticipate the setting of boundaries, limits you will enforce, the expectations and the values you want to teach. Couples who are blindsided usually find themselves on the opposite sides. You cannot anticipate everything but being prepared will help reduce many blind spots.
In some situations it is good to consult each other. Even if the children are around take time to talk to the other partner privately. This will make the decision made mutual. The main aim of doing this is to find unity. Tell the children you will get back to them. Hold a meeting on the side and discuss an issue then make the final decision. A parent should accept the fact that things have changed. Decisions cannot be made by one person. You have to work as a team.
If you do not like or appreciate how a situation was handled discuss it privately with your partner. Some of the mistakes biological parents make is reversing a decision that has been made or commenting negatively. These moves will cut his or her authority which is not a good thing.
Both partners should be ready to listen to each other. This will involve listening to the reason the decision was made and sharing each other’s views about the matter. A conclusion that everyone is comfortable with should be agreed upon and that is what should happen the next time such a situation happens. You should come to an understanding and seek better ways of dealing with such issues.
Communication is important. Major changes when it comes to the rules and expectations have to be discussed. You should always be united. In the beginning news about any rule changes should be relayed by the biological parent. The stepparent should be present in the room. He or she can also talk to the children but the biological parent should clearly show agreement with the change.
Parental unity communicates a message to the children. Sooner or later they will have to deal with the situation. They will come to accept that things have changed and there is now a new member in the family.