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Traditionally married and want American Wedding

nadam
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Post #1 of 2 (1650 views)

Traditionally married and want American Wedding

I think this is going to be weird but I'm going to try my best to explain it. I got married traditionally, meaning that when I got married to my fiance or husband now, it was only marriage by the rules our culture had. In our culture, we do have the best man, the brides maid, a somewhat of a priest, food, telling our parents that we will be together forever and all, and many things similar to those of the american way except for me getting to wear a beautiful white wedding dress. My husband and I are not legally married in the U.S. Meaning that we don't have any documents stating that we are husband and wife so we've been basically just engaged for almost five years (November, 2007). My husband wants us to get legally married because he's getting deployed again next year 2008 so if something happens to him he wants the army to help me. He also wanted an American wedding, getting to wear a tux and all and watching me go down the aisle in a white dress. I was just wondering, should the wedding just be like renewing wedding vows or should I have a full american wedding? I hope you understand what I'm saying. I really need help. My husband wants us to do this wedding on our fifth year together and I don't know what I should do. I've never done an American wedding before.

Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT

Post #2 of 2 (1648 views)

Re: [nadam] Traditionally married and want American Wedding [In reply to]

Dear Nadam,

Here, if you are married, then the ceremony wouldn't appear to be a wedding. A wedding is a very sacred event to wed two people in marriage. You are already a wife and your husband is your husband, not a fiance. So, to be legally married here, all you would need is a piece of paper and a meeting with someone at the court house.

This is not to say that you couldn't have a vow renewal. But, if inviting guests, this shouldn't mirror a wedding in any way. And, it isn't a gift giving event. Please read more about vow renewal etiquette.

Best wishes,
Rebecca Black, Etiquette Consultant
Etiquette Now
http://www.etiquettenow.com