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My mother is in a relationship only a month after unexpected death of father.

SarahMac
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Post #1 of 2 (2329 views)

My mother is in a relationship only a month after unexpected death of father.

Where to begin....as I stated in the subject, my father passed away unexpectedly on 2/2/07 from a heart attack. He was only 54.

I am the oldest of six children (I am 29). I (and several of my siblings)have been having a huge problem with my mother because she has chosen to already begin a relationship with a supposed family friend who approached her with the subject soon after my father's death.

I felt that she was using this as an avoidance of dealing with losing my dad, by putting somewhere there to fill the emptiness she feels at not having my dad around anymore. She even told me as much and said she realized she was considering this relationship for the wrong reasons and she would tell him that it wasn't going to happen.

Me and my mom are very close, like best friends. I found out just yesterday that my mom has been lying to me and my other siblings who are opposed to this relationship, feeling that it is too soon and that this guy is not the right person even when the time comes (he has several issues including drug abuse and being currently married and still living with his wife). It is completely ruining our relationship.

I have tried to do the I will just tell her how I feel and how I think that she needs to think more about why she is doing this and hope that it means enough to her to make her think.

I also do feel like I am being a bratty child to a point because I cannot help how I feel and I am COMPLETELY opposed to this relationship. Not only because of the time frame, but because of who he is. I have never thought that she shouldn't move on eventually, she is only 49 and shouldn't be alone forever just because my dad is gone. I want her to find it again if she can. I think she is just jumping into this to avoid feeling that emptiness.

It has escalated to the point where because I feel so strongly about this situation that I told her that if she pursues this relationship with him, it is going to end ours. Especially since it has made her lie to me and hide things from and my other siblings, things she hasn't done to my knowledge in the past.

I guess I am just trying to get someone's outside view on this situation. Anyone I have spoken to about this situation has agreed to my side, even if critiquing me for my vehemence in it.

Anyone, some feedback. Am I just being a bratty kid? Is my mom going to fast for having just lost her husband unexpectedly two months ago, and having been in a relationship for a month of it already. Not to mention it tearing our family apart.

Please, someone help if you can. Thank you.

the_admin
Remarriage Forum Moderator / Moderator

Post #2 of 2 (2317 views)

Re: [SarahMac] My mother is in a relationship only a month after unexpected death of father. [In reply to]

Sarah -

I'm sorry for your troubles but we only answer questions related to getting married for the second time. Perhaps you have a counseling center in your area or in a local church. A few family sessions could help you vent.

Take care,
I Do - Take Two Moderator