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Divorced and remarried to widow

kc5dil
New User

Post #1 of 3 (1867 views)

Divorced and remarried to widow

9 years ago I was remarried to a widow 6 months after her husband's death and 2 months after my divorce. We met during my separation from ex-wife. My ex and I have two children together but our relationship and marriage was definitely over.

Now my new wife tells me that she was happy the first couple of years then she started feeling that she may have made a mistake. The last 3-4 years she says that she needs to be alone. She also tells me that she loves me, trusts me, and knows that I love her so very deeply. I have sugested that we see a christian marrage counselor.

(This post was edited by the_admin on Jan 2, 2006, 7:08 AM)

Deacon Bob
INDEPENDANT CATHOLIC DEACON

Post #2 of 3 (1846 views)

Re: [kc5dil] Divorced and remarried to widow [In reply to]

I am sorry to hear about your difficulties. I do think you have made a good suggestion. Sometimes talking things out and trying fresh ideas can revitalize a relationship. I hope all works out for you. God Bless.
Deacon Bob Tousey
Independant catholic Deacon

yvonne"instep"
Social Worker, Stepmother, Certified Stepfamily Counsellor

Post #3 of 3 (1842 views)

Re: [kc5dil] Divorced and remarried to widow [In reply to]

You haven't mentioned anything about the issues in your relationship that may be contributing to the problem. Counselling is a wise choice to help you both sort through what's happened and find out what your options are in trying to work through this. If you both still care deeply for each other, this will help you tremendously. Remember that she has been holding onto some of this for a long time as she said she started to think two years into your marriage that she may have made a mistake. She has obviously been trying hard on her own to resolve things and hoping everything would work itself out, which rarely happens. Now that her dissatisfaction is out in the open, you can have a chance to tackle this thing together. Be open to what she has to say, even if some of it comes as a real shock to you. And suggest that because you both still love each other, and have made a life together, you really want to explore all of your options as a couple, together with her and and counsellor, before decisions get made about the future. Best of Luck!!
Yvonne Kelly, MSW, RSW, Certified Stepfamily Counsellor and Coach,
Co-Founder and Director of the Step and Blended Family Institute
http://www.stepinstitute.ca