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renewing vows at 5yr mark. good or bad?

kcandle
New User

Post #1 of 4 (2452 views)

renewing vows at 5yr mark. good or bad?

My husband & I have been married for 5 years & the first couple was rocky. So we want to start over, refresh everything. Is 5 years to soon? I want my brother to walk me down the aile is that okay for a renewal? Please help! When I call people to tell them about this the first thing they say is "Already, your not going to wait for 10 years?" Should we wait? I don't want to wait, I want to start new now. Please help if anyone can. Frown

the_admin
Remarriage Forum Moderator / Moderator

Post #2 of 4 (2430 views)

Re: [kcandle] renewing vows at 5yr mark. good or bad? [In reply to]

Firstly, I'd like to tell you what Emily Post has to say on this subject, from her most recent book on etiquette (17th edition):

"Years ago, a couple wishing to reaffirm their wedding vows waited until their tenth or twenty-fifth anniversary. But now the happy pair can ceremoniously vouch for their commitment to each other any time they please. Couples might want to celebrate in conjunction with .... Or they could be marking the end of a difficult time in their lives. Still other might have gotten married on a shoestring and now want a larger wedding, or have had a civil ceremony and want to add a spiritual component to their vows. This is not the only book that agrees with this thinking. The Brides Book of Etiquette has an entire chapter on reaffirmations. It is great. And, it states that we can have our ceremonies any time. And, it states almost to the word what Peggy Post states in her newest book.
Bride's Book of Etiquette It is perfectly acceptable for your brother to escort you down the aisle however, do not confuse escort with the act of "giving away the bride" since these are seperate. Since you are already married there is no need to be "given". Speak to your oficiant regarding the use of words during the "giving away" pahse of the ceremony. He/she could suggest alternative wording such as "Who presents this couple". For more information on vow renewals click here.
I Do - Take Two Moderator

(This post was edited by the_admin on Apr 23, 2007, 2:41 PM)

kcandle
New User

Post #3 of 4 (2428 views)

Re: [the_admin] renewing vows at 5yr mark. good or bad? [In reply to]

Thank You!! Another thing, we both have a child by someone else, him a marriage & me a boyfriend, but we want them included in the unity candle. Could we do it the same as the first but instead of the parents lighting it his daughter can light the one on his side & my daughter can light the one on my side? Is there anything else that we need to do different then our first marriage? Thanks for your help. God Bless

the_admin
Remarriage Forum Moderator / Moderator

Post #4 of 4 (2426 views)

Re: [kcandle] renewing vows at 5yr mark. good or bad? [In reply to]

Sure. We have unity candle ceremony information available to you on the site:

Second Marriage Vows
I Do - Take Two Moderator