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Home: Second Weddings: Wedding Vow Renewal:
finally having a wedding & renewing vows

lanae
New User

Post #1 of 11 (10720 views)

finally having a wedding & renewing vows

My husband and I were married by a JP. Only a two day engagement period, soNo fun wedding stuff like a bachelor/bridal party took place and most importantly we missed out on the anticipation and excitement of a wedding. Anyway, I'd like to renew our vows and finally have a big celebration. This will be the first wedding we have. Can my dad still walk me down the aisle? Could we register for gifts still? Could we still have groomsmen and bridesmaids? Would I be expected to wear something different fromt the traditional big white dress. I want all the special stuff that goes along with weddings, but I wonder if we're supposed to skip some of it since we are already married. Any insight would help. This is the only marriage we've had. We have a 12 mo old son now. We just want the wedding of our dreams that we didn't get to have when our marriage began.

Thanks, Lanae

(This post was edited by the_admin on May 5, 2004, 8:56 AM)

the_admin
Remarriage Forum Moderator / Moderator

Post #2 of 11 (10710 views)

Re: [lanae] Q's about finally having a wedding &renewing vows [In reply to]

While we wait for our wedding expert on this subject: Renewing wedding vows info;

http://www.gettingremarried.com/renewing_wedding_vows.html
I Do - Take Two Moderator

(This post was edited by the_admin on Mar 12, 2004, 6:46 AM)

jensminger
New User

Post #3 of 11 (10685 views)

Re: [the_admin] Q's about finally having a wedding &renewing vows [In reply to]

My husband and I are in the same situation. We have recently went via a serious illness and open heart surgery. So we were planning on a "real" wedding. One idea I may have, if it is imprper etiquitte to register for gifts my husband I intend on asking our guests to donate to charity of of pickings. Other than that I think you can do whatever you want. It's your day and since you did not have all the special events the first time around take full advantage of it. I think more people need to celebrate the successful marriages since these days so many end up in divorce.

the_admin
Remarriage Forum Moderator / Moderator

Post #4 of 11 (10682 views)

Re: [jensminger] Q's about finally having a wedding &renewing vows [In reply to]

I agree that lasting relationships should be celebrated!

You can certainly register for gifts but it is never proper etiquette to list the gift registry on the invitation. You can let your guests know that you would prefer a donation to your favorite charity by asking yoyur family and close friends to tell anyone who asks but it is not considered polite to formally list this information anywhere but on a personal wedding site, if you have one that is.

I wish good health and good luck to you and your husband.

(This post was edited by the_admin on May 5, 2004, 8:58 AM)

lanae
New User

Post #5 of 11 (10672 views)

Re: [the_admin] Q's about finally having a wedding &renewing vows [In reply to]

The charity idea is a good one but honestly I won't be doing that. We are much to strapped financially to be telling family and friends to give it to charity. We could really use that money for a honeymoon, or bills or towards a house. I see what's being said about the registries though, and I think I will create a website when the time comes.

Anyway, I feel like one of my main questions wasn't really answered yet. What do you think of my dad walking me down the aisle? Would it be kind of ridiculous since I'm already married and not "his little girl to give away" anymore?

the_admin
Remarriage Forum Moderator / Moderator

Post #6 of 11 (10669 views)

Re: [lanae] Q's about finally having a wedding &renewing vows [In reply to]

The charity idea was in response to the other person's reply and not your original question, sorry.

In regard to your question about your dad please read our wedding etiquette page.
I Do - Take Two Moderator

(This post was edited by the_admin on May 5, 2004, 8:58 AM)

Mannersmith
Deleted

Post #7 of 11 (10665 views)

Re: [lanae] Q's about finally having a wedding & renewing vows [In reply to]

Dear Almost First Time Bride,

Yes, you can have a big celebration since you missed out originally. You should register, (but remember that a vow renewal is not a gift giving type of event so although some people may give gifts please don't expect them), you can wear something bridal if you want, your dad may walk you down the aisle. Skip the shower and the wedding veil since you are already married.
Jodi R R Smith, The MannerSmith

(This post was edited by the_admin on Mar 3, 2005, 10:22 AM)

lyndyshields
New User

Post #8 of 11 (8406 views)

Re: [lanae] finally having a wedding & renewing vows [In reply to]

I can completely relate to you. My hubby and I were together for 3 weeks before getting married. It was at a lil chapel, no one there but a friend of mine from high school. We're renewing our vows in Sept., it will be 5 years!

I wish you all the best. Angelic

Attachments:

Rick and Lyndy.JPG (10.5 KB)

lcosden
Deleted

Post #9 of 11 (8046 views)

Re: [lanae] finally having a wedding & renewing vows [In reply to]

Lanae

I completely know what you are going through. My husband and I was one of 12 Millineum couples married by the JP of Annapolis, MD. Happened by chance too when one of the 12 couples called it off 4 days before the wedding. We had only 4 days to get my dress and call our family. Essentially, we had a semi-formal wedding. White Ballgown(not wedding gown), cake, champagne, and 4 friends. So now, my husband and his family wants us to have a large wedding with all the trimmings. So, I pretty much have the same questions as you. Although, I think that I'll just do a destination wedding instead. That way, I can limit the amount of people there. Less people less work.. Less intimidating for me. Smile

princess22
New User

Post #10 of 11 (7500 views)

Re: [lanae] finally having a wedding & renewing vows [In reply to]

okay, it seems that dad can still walk u down. i was also a j.p. married and also want to have a real wedding next year on our five year, but do you still have a reception or do you just go out to dinner with every. also 2 kids later can i still wear white? do you still have brides maids and grooms men? my church does want us to get married in the church so thats not a problem but how do you invite people? do you still ask for gifts? do people still give gifts? I wish their was a guide to having a real wedding after getting married alone by a j.p. and the proper way to do it. we don't really know that many people so it would probably be only 30-50 people maybe so how can i pull it off? has anyone done it and have any pointers? thanks

the_admin
Remarriage Forum Moderator / Moderator

Post #11 of 11 (7495 views)

Re: [princess22] finally having a wedding & renewing vows [In reply to]

There is a guide, princess...our guide right here...GettingRemarried.com! All of the answers to your questions are listed within this forum (there is a search here to look for topics and keywords) and within the pages of the site. Click on the links up top to the various pages such as renewing your wedding vows, wording wedding invitations (along the left) and second wedding dress. All of our pages pertain to "second weddings" whether it is a second marriage to a new spouse or renwing your vows with the same spouse.

What you are planning is more a renewal of vows ceremony (again though, all of our pages contain the infomration you need to help you make wedding plans)and yes, you can have a reception. The plans surrounding your day are up to you. The only real no-no is weiring a veil.

Asking for gifts under any circumstances is tacky, so please refrain from that.

You can have a wonderful second wedding with as little as 2 people or as many as 200! If you still have questions after reviewing our site then please come back here to ask!

Good Luck.
I Do - Take Two Moderator