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couple did not divorce during 15 yr separation and are getting back together. Wedding or vow renewal?

mixedblessings
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Post #1 of 3 (225 views)

couple did not divorce during 15 yr separation and are getting back together. Wedding or vow renewal?

Help please!

This particular couple were married approximately 15 years ago. After separation each had several relationships, some resulting in children.

However, they were never legally divorced.

Fast forward 15 years, they meet again, begin dating and are being remarried. None of us know if this would be classified as wedding, a vow renewal, or what.

We would be so grateful if anyone could help us name the type of vows they should be considering. I am designing their unity candle and I usually print "Love is Blind....Love Endures All" and the date of marriage. I am pretty that I should use the date of this wedding rather than the first. Their first marriage did not endure all so I don't think this works, but if any of you have suggestions that would be awesome!

Thank you and I'm hoping someone can help!

Sincerely,

Mixed Blessings

Crazy

on

(This post was edited by the_admin on Feb 19, 2010, 7:17 AM)

startingover
MARRIAGE PREPARATION ADVISORS

Post #2 of 3 (213 views)

Re: [mixedblessings] couple did not divorce during 15 yr separation and are getting back together. Wedding or vow renewal? [In reply to]

This is a sticky situation and we can appreciate your confusion. The legal answer is that if they never officially divorced, they are still married and the ceremony is now a vow renewal. We sincerely hope they are getting some quality pre-wedding counseling because there is sure to be some emotional baggage they are carrying into this renewed relationship, especially since there are children involved from previous relationships.

Our suggestion to you is to make the unity candle as lovely as possible, for the ceremony is a celebration of unity, with whatever words you wish. However, leave off the wedding date unless the couple insist on having it.

God bless you and guide you in this difficult situation.
Kay and Dennis Flowers
Authors of
Catholic Annulment, Spiritual Healing

Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT

Post #3 of 3 (211 views)

Re: [mixedblessings] couple did not divorce during 15 yr separation and are getting back together. Wedding or vow renewal? [In reply to]

Dear Mixed Blessings,

This should be considered a vow renewal and shouldn't appear to be a wedding. It could be viewed very negatively, so hopefully they aren't inviting many guests. This should be a small, private affair.

Best wishes,
Rebecca Black, Etiquette Consultant
Etiquette Now
http://www.etiquettenow.com