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Wedding Vow Renewal

bellamama
New User

Post #1 of 6 (2128 views)

Wedding Vow Renewal

My husband and I have been married for 13 years. We got married in City Hall and went out to eat afterwards. We have 5 children now.

Last year, our lives almost took a different turn and we weren't certain that we would stay together, but through some major soul-searching, the help of marriage counselor and of course the love and support of our family, we stuck through it. We even moved to a new house to start our "new" life together.

We decided to renow our vows this year in June, the ceremony will be in church, as we would like the church to bless our marriage and family. Since the Catholic Church does not recognize us as married couple, we are esentially having a ceremony that although is a vow renewal, it will also be a recognition of our marriage in our church. Our priest also said that we would have to have two witnesses (MOH & BM in a wedding).The ceremony will be followed by a reception which we are hosting with all the bells and whistles and our children will be apart of our "bridal party".

I will be wearing an informal wedding gown (no veil) and will be walked down the aisle by our two sons. My husband will walk with our daughter.

Basically, I would like to know (although aside from this website, others have said that this is perfectly acceptable) what do you think? Is there something we should be doing differently? or can we proceed "full speed ahead" with our planning?

Thank you.

Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT

Post #2 of 6 (2123 views)

Re: [bellamama] Wedding Vow Renewal [In reply to]

Dear Reaffirming,

Others may have said that what you want to do is perfectly acceptable because they don't know any better. I cannot say that because it is important for me to inform people what is proper. I am not alone in my interpretation of etiquette. Every new etiquette book I have read has the same opinion. So, it is your choice to follow what we have written about vow renewal etiquette or to follow your plans.

I encourage you to read it, but it is entirely your choice to follow the advice.

Best wishes,
Rebecca Black, Etiquette Consultant
Etiquette Now
http://www.etiquettenow.com

bellamama
New User

Post #3 of 6 (2107 views)

Re: [Et.byRebecca] Wedding Vow Renewal [In reply to]

Thanks for your response.

I appreciate your opinion and that is why I posted but I feel that you have not really given me a clear response. I have read through your website (extensively) so I don't want a simple instruction to re-read it again.

While people may have different interpretations of what is found here, I am going a step further and asking if what I have originally posted sounds like I am committing a major faux pas and your opinion as to what I need to do to change anything in order to do it our Vow Renewal the right way.

Thanks again and hope to hear from you soon!! :)

Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT

Post #4 of 6 (2097 views)

Re: [bellamama] Wedding Vow Renewal [In reply to]

I'm not sure I have much more to say then I did in the article. So, I will try to clarify.

You say that you 'are' going to wear a wedding gown. But, I have said that it isn't appropriate unless you are wearing your wedding gown from your wedding. So, again you must choose. Typically, women would wear a nice dress suited for the formality of the event.

I have said that attendants are not appropriate because you are already married. Your priest states that you need witnesses to bless your marriage. Your guests are all witnesses. Your children are witnesses. So, if you want to include attendants who were not a part of your wedding ceremony, this is your choice. But, it isn't considered appropriate.

However, including your children as you have mentioned is a wonderful idea and very appropriate because this is a ceremony affirming your love and commitment. And, if this is what you mean about them being your bridal party, bravo!

Your reception can be very similar to a wedding reception. It should follow more of an anniversary party flow though. A wedding cake wouldn't seem appropriate, because you are married. But, you definitely can have a nice cake.

Dances and all of the other traditions should be appropriate for a married couple. Just use common sense. For example: why would a married couple include the garter or bouquet toss?

So, take the traditional events and tweek them to suit a married couple. Plus, invent some of your own.

Just, please no money trees or wishing wells :)
Rebecca Black, Etiquette Consultant
Etiquette Now
http://www.etiquettenow.com

bellamama
New User

Post #5 of 6 (2094 views)

Re: [Et.byRebecca] Wedding Vow Renewal [In reply to]

Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!

There is definitely room for some tweaking.

I greatly appreciate your response!!

Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT

Post #6 of 6 (2091 views)

Re: [bellamama] Wedding Vow Renewal [In reply to]

I am so glad that I could help.
Rebecca Black, Etiquette Consultant
Etiquette Now
http://www.etiquettenow.com