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Second Wedding to the same person

jacksup
New User

Post #1 of 5 (1574 views)

Second Wedding to the same person

My wife and I get married a couple of weeks ago in Las Vegas. We didn't really think things through all the way. We are going to be married by a Catholic Priest next October. Our family does not know of the first wedding. What would be our best game plan to get married next October without them finding out we already had a civil ceremony????

the_admin
Remarriage Forum Moderator / Moderator

Post #2 of 5 (1572 views)

Re: [jacksup] Second Wedding to the same person [In reply to]

The fact that you have posted your question in the vow renewal category speaks volums to me. Do you really want to begin your married life as a lie? I think you already know the answer.

Please speak openly and honestly with your priest before moving forward. Ask yourselves why you don;t want to just go ahead and tell the family and then have that vow renewal or blessing of your marriage in church. Be honest with yourselves too.

Best of Luck,
I Do - Take Two Moderator

Deacon Bob
INDEPENDANT CATHOLIC DEACON

Post #3 of 5 (1572 views)

Re: [jacksup] Second Wedding to the same person [In reply to]

Your best game plan is to tell them and have the ceremony a renewal of vows. It is never a good idea to begin a relationship which is based on a misrepresentation to your family. God Bless, Bob
Deacon Bob Tousey
Independant catholic Deacon

jacksup
New User

Post #4 of 5 (1568 views)

Re: [the_admin] Second Wedding to the same person [In reply to]

I have no problems telling my parents. We are concerned about my wife's father who is a strict Catholic. I had no idea how strict the time of our first non-religious wedding. We don't want him to flip out over this. We would like him to come to our nice little small wedding next year. My question isn't about what is right and what is wrong. It is going to be a small beach wedding. I'm not even sure if a Catholic Priest can wed us outside on the beach? My question is whether or not this would be possible to do. Does the church recognize civil weddings or would this be treated as our first???

Thanks.

Frieda Arpoika
CATHOLIC LAY PASTORAL MINISTER

Post #5 of 5 (1564 views)

Re: [jacksup] Second Wedding to the same person [In reply to]

As the site administrator said earlier, this is a renewal of the vows in the Catholic Church next October. So why not celebrate it in a church? Even a strict Catholic would be happy that the Church wedding is important enough for you not to leave it at just a civil marriage. I think any "strict" Catholic would be delighted that you don't want to just leave it at a civil marriage, but that you want to celebrate the vows in a Church.
The location, a Church, is very important in this case. A priest is not allowed to celebrate a marriage outside of the church since the church represents the faith community and the presence of God in this union. And in your case, a church would really be ideal for a small family celebration. A beach wedding could be just as upsetting to a strict Catholic as a civil marriage. The location of a church is a sign of family and faith in this case, two very important aspects of your future together.
Tell your family, your priest, and tell them you want to make it right and want to work it out with them together. They'll be happy about your honesty and trust.
Frieda Arpoika
Catholic Lay Pastoral Minister
St. Daniel Catholic Community