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Renewing vows after breast cancer

AquarianPath
New User

Post #1 of 4 (1695 views)

Renewing vows after breast cancer

My husband and I married rather quickly and without any family there in attendance. We were going to have a huge ceremony but we weren't able to have one. I wound up pregnant and I was living in a bad situation. My husband wanted to marry me asap to get me out of it.

Then, December 2006 I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. We went through a very difficult year last year with surgeries and chemotherapy.

In 2009, it will mark our 5 years together. We want to re new our vows and celebrate LIFE and LOVE. And the fact that we beat cancer together.

Not only is it a vow renewal, it's a celebration of making it through breast cancer together. I would love to have a wedding-type ceremony, but I see now that it's not appropriate for vow renewing. I wanted my sister and my best friend to stand up with me, but I'm guessing that is also inappropriate.

What is considered appropriate for our circumstance? I would love to have my sister and best friend involved.

Any advice or suggestions would be great. Also, I feel kinda stupid now because I asked my husband's sister to be part of it but now I feel as if I made a serious social blunder.

How do I go about correcting it without hurting feelings?

Sincerely,

Seriously confused!

(This post was edited by the_admin on Jun 9, 2008, 10:07 AM)

the_admin
Remarriage Forum Moderator / Moderator

Post #2 of 4 (1688 views)

Re: [AquarianPath] Renewing vows after breast cancer [In reply to]

Congratulations on becoming a cancer survivor. (I am actually just recovering from a mastectomy and reconstruction).

Although you'll surely want to celebrate your recovery by renewing your wedding vows, a wedding is not a vow renewal or vice versa. Please review our pages on vow renewals and scan this forum for more questions and answers regarding very similar situations.

Although we do not have attendants for vow renewals, if you would like to involve your sister or other relatives and friends, consider a family unity candle ceremony (this ceremony can include friends as well as relatives) during the vow renewal. Just calmly explain to your sister that you spoke too soon and our of excitement. Find other ways she can be involved such as performing a reading or handing out programs.

God bless you on your journey and congratulations again.
I Do - Take Two Moderator

(This post was edited by the_admin on Jun 9, 2008, 10:07 AM)

AquarianPath
New User

Post #3 of 4 (1687 views)

Re: [the_admin] Renweing vows after breast cancer [In reply to]

Good luck on your recovery! I sent an email that says this:

Hey ladies! I know I asked the three of you to "stand up" with me in our ceremony. However, you won't be 'Bridesmaids' as we're not getting married, we're already married! :) I would love for all of you, however, to be witnesses to our vow renewal ceremony. (Husband) and I decided that a toned down event rather than a huge wedding-type ceremony would be best for a vow renewal. Letting you all know! Love ya!

I did review the etiquette pages and realized it's probably best to have a vow renewal ceremony that is much more toned down from a "wedding type" ceremony. We are planning on hosting it and paying it ourselves, so it would more beneficial to us financially anyway to have a small but tasteful event.

I am actually looking forward to a smaller more intimate affair with just immediate family members and friends rather than huge ceremony. Takes a lot of pressure off!

Again, I wish you well on your own journey. I still have reconstruction surgery to get through. As I wound up pregnant after chemotherapy and had to stop everything so none of my surgery was finished!

(This post was edited by the_admin on Jun 9, 2008, 10:06 AM)

the_admin
Remarriage Forum Moderator / Moderator

Post #4 of 4 (1042 views)

Re: [AquarianPath] Renewing vows after breast cancer [In reply to]

Just wondering how you're doing.
I Do - Take Two Moderator