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Renewing Wedding Vows In Husband's Country

Bride2StLucian
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Post #1 of 5 (2395 views)

Renewing Wedding Vows In Husband's Country

I live in Canada and I'm getting married in June. My fiance is from St. Lucia and has never even seen Canada (nor have I been to St. Lucia...we met while working on a cruise ship). We initially planned to take a trip after the wedding to St. Lucia to celebrate with his family and friends, as none of them (except one cousin) will be able to attend our official wedding here. We are considering renewing wedding vows in my husband's country.

We are now planning on travelling there next February or March. It seems rather silly to me to have a big celebration reception to celebrate the wedding almost a year later. I think it would be nice if we could do a small vow renewal with his relatives and friends included with the celebration. Is this more appropriate? We will not be able to afford a second big wedding with all of the frills like the one here. How should we go about this?

Also, do you celebrate your anniversary on your wedding date as well as the date of the renewal? It's getting married in two countries simply because of the couple having different nationalities, so is the second to be celebrated as much as the first? It's the first one that seems most important to me, but I don't want to offend anyone if we don't celebrate the anniversary of the second.

Laura - Completely at a loss! Please help!

(This post was edited by the_admin on Jan 13, 2006, 11:38 PM)

RevSusanna
INTERFAITH MINISTER & AUTHOR / Moderator

Post #2 of 5 (2382 views)

Re: [Bride2StLucian] Renewing Vows In Husband's Country... [In reply to]

First, you must do what you can afford, plain and simple. No one should expect more than that. I agree with you that that it would be lovely to celebrate with a special but intimate vow renewal the second time. What you can do is make the two ceremonies very different in tone. The first can be more ceremonial, the second more intimate. For example, in one similiar situation to yours, where a couple from Switzerland had a second intimate vow renewal here in NYC, I had each family member (one by one) say a few special words to the bride and groom, a personal blessing, and then sprinkle rose petals upon their lovely heads at the end of the ceremony. It was very special and emotional for all. There are many wonderful ways in which you can make the two ceremonies different...so they are both unique and special to you.

Regarding celebrating your anniversary, it would be the first ceremony where you legally become husband and wife that would be celebrated.

I hope this helps.

With two ceremonies, you are twice blessed! How lovely is that?

Wishing you an eternity of happiness...

Rev. Susanna Stefanachi Macomb
Reverend Susanna
Joining Hands and Hearts: Interfaith, Intercultural Wedding Celebrations : A Practical Guide for Couples

Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT

Post #3 of 5 (2377 views)

Re: [Bride2StLucian] Renewing Vows In Husband's Country... [In reply to]

Dear Renewing Vows,

Great advice and so true.

One thing I would add though, is that you definitely could have a reception at that time if you wish instead or included with the vow renewal ceremony. Many couples delay their receptions for a number of reasons. Some will even have several receptions because of family living in different locations. This can be a simple reception. It doesn't have to be elaborate or expensive.

Best wishes,
Rebecca Black, Etiquette Consultant
Etiquette Now
http://www.etiquettenow.com

Bride2StLucian
New User

Post #4 of 5 (2375 views)

Re: [RevSusanna] Renewing Vows In Husband's Country... [In reply to]

Thank you. Yes that does help me some. The only problem with the family saying words about us is that I have not met them yet. I have chatted with a few of them on the phone and through e-mails and chats. His family do not know us personally as a couple yet. I will meet them when we go there to celebrate with them. this is why I think the renewal would be important. This way they don't think I've left them out or forgotten about their imporatnce in our lives since he will be moving to Canada to live with me.

RevSusanna
INTERFAITH MINISTER & AUTHOR / Moderator

Post #5 of 5 (2370 views)

Re: [Bride2StLucian] Renewing Vows In Husband's Country... [In reply to]

Agreed. The vow renewal is important for his family. The reception for either affair can be as some or large as you wish, and as you can afford. It seems a large affair for the first, and an intimate affair for the second...say at a restaurant... would work out well. The words they say for the vow renewal can simply be well wishes and general blessings upon your journey as a married couple, they need not be extremely personal.
Reverend Susanna
Joining Hands and Hearts: Interfaith, Intercultural Wedding Celebrations : A Practical Guide for Couples