Ask the Experts

Home: Second Weddings: Wedding Vow Renewal:
Had the big wedding; want it again.

MeAMom
New User

Post #1 of 2 (2671 views)

Had the big wedding; want it again.

When my husband and I got married (1995), we had a BIG outdoor wedding with about 250 guests and the BIG reception to follow. So I guess I am not in the same category as the others who want to do this because they never have. We just enjoyed the first one so much we want to do it again. Since the time we married, we have said that we wanted to go on a second honeymoon, revew our vows, and do it all over again on our 10th. So now we are getting ready to celebrate our 9th and still want it. But I am beginning to feel like maybe it is inappropriate to do the whole big sha-bang again. Most others are doing it for a reason I find more valid than "just for the fun of it". Would it be more appropriate to take our second honeymoon and renew our vows their privately? Is it a waste of money to do it again?

OK you will probably answer..."Do what you want to and not care what others think." But I want and honest answer. If you got an invitation to go to a wedding bash like the one you went to just 10 years ago would you think it romantic or crazy? Tongue

the_admin
Remarriage Forum Moderator / Moderator

Post #2 of 2 (2665 views)

Re: [MeAMom] Had the big wedding; want it again. [In reply to]

Here's MY honest and personal answer (remember, your friends and family might feel differently):

Go ahead and have the formal bash but this time, keep the guest list to close friends and family who really care about you. These people truly love you and know you so they (hopefully) won't feel like you are doing this just for the gifts. No, it's not good manners to add "no gifts" to the invitation since a vow renewal is not a gift giving event, so that's not an acceptable way around that issue.

If I were invited to an event as described above I would be thrilled for the couple and happy they are including me in the small circle of people they hold dear.

What really worries me is that you only mentioned that your first wedding was a great party, lots of fun and you want to duplicate that fun but you didn't mention the things we typically hear such as, "We'd like to renew our vows to share our continued love with our children" or "We'd like to celebrate being together, still in love , after 10 years". Examine the reason you want to renew your vows and go on a second honeymoon since it really SHOULD be more than just a party.

Then enjoy, whatever you decide!
I Do - Take Two Moderator

(This post was edited by the_admin on Mar 3, 2005, 10:19 AM)