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sticky questions

jennifignafer
New User

Post #1 of 6 (4613 views)

sticky questions

Hi, I am Jennifer and I am getting married Aug 13, 2005 and there are some sticky questions I have if anyone can help.

1. My first husband and I split after 6 months and when I moved out, I gave him the thank you notes to mail out since he didn't write any. Anyway, it was just brought to my attention that no one got theirs, which leads me to believe he threw them away. now I am getting married again and I don't want my family to think I am thoughtless and never sent them, how do I fix this?

2. We don't have a lot of money and we are paying for this wedding by ourselves. His VERY big (20 aunts & uncles not to mention cousins & their kids) all want to be there and we can't afford it. We wanted to have parents, grandparents, siblings and close friends without stepping on toes, how do we decide to have a small reception without hurting those who have supported us during our relationship?

Thank You

(This post was edited by the_admin on Oct 27, 2004, 1:01 PM)

the_admin
Remarriage Forum Moderator / Moderator

Post #2 of 6 (4607 views)

Re: [jennifignafer] sticky questions [In reply to]

You could have all of those guests (depending omn the budget) if you were to plan a midafternoon wedding (1 PM?) and follow it up with a cake and champagne reception. You don't have to book an expensive catering hall; you could rent a local Elks lodge, a small restuarant with a private room or, weather permitting, a backyard event. We even have posts from bride here who have had pot luck receptions. Take a moment and review some of the other posts in the other forum areas to get more ideas.
I Do - Take Two Moderator

Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT / Moderator

Post #3 of 6 (4605 views)

Re: [jennifignafer] sticky questions [In reply to]

Definitely great ideas on the reception side. As for the thank yous, it is never too late to say thank you. You may wish to do this personally so that you may explain why it has taken so long to do so.
Rebecca Black, Etiquette Consultant
Etiquette Now
http://www.etiquettenow.com

jennifignafer
New User

Post #4 of 6 (4599 views)

Re: [the_admin] sticky questions [In reply to]

I dont think a VERY limited budget will allow for all these people and I don't think they would appreciate "potluck" I have searched through this forum and have not found anything similar to my problem of not being able to afford family. We don't have grandiose ideas of an expensive catering hall, but hors devours at the resturant where we met seemed to be the perfect idea. And our church wedding is at 1pm with the reception at 3-7 we just don't know how to PLAN it. My parents are offering NO support because they paid for the last one and it didnt last but 6 months. $5000 is my entire budget and thats a little high as it is. That has to cover the photographer, cake, reception, flowers, DRESS, tuxes, gifts for attendants, hair, transportation and anything else I may be forgetting.

HELP PLEASE!!
If someone says "a penny for your thoughts" and you put your two cents in, where does the other penny go?

the_admin
Remarriage Forum Moderator / Moderator

Post #5 of 6 (4597 views)

Re: [jennifignafer] sticky questions [In reply to]

Yes, as a parent myself I can see where your parents might not want to, or be able to, foot the bill again. The typical wedding budget is around $100 per person. So, at $5000.00 you will have to make some concessions to make that budget work for you.

First of all, any bridal party members will pay for their own attire so that just leaves you and your fiance. Tuxes can be rented for around $100 in most areas, sometimes even lower. Try ebay for your dress, you can get some great bargains there. Look at our page on wedding dresses for links to sites selling discounted (but lovely) dresses.

You don't have to have a limousine...have a family member drive you or drive yourself.

Floral bouquets can be made at home if you or someone you know is crafty.

Have the reception on a Friday night or Sunday afternoon since those are the less busy days for catering.

Cut down on the number of attendants, if possible.

Wedding favors and programs are not a necessity, skip them.

Print Your Own Wedding Invitations: Blank Wedding Invitations you print yourself.

Budget Wedding Ideas and Money Saving Tips from Top Wedding Sites.

Hope this helps.
I Do - Take Two Moderator

(This post was edited by the_admin on Apr 23, 2007, 2:40 PM)

Mannersmith
Deleted

Post #6 of 6 (4314 views)

Re: [jennifignafer] sticky questions [In reply to]

Dear Jennifer,

Where to start... I am sure it didn't come as a surprise to you that your ex did
not do something you asked/wanted him to do. Since you kept the gifts and
the guests were not thanked, I suggest you craft a short note to your
friends and family. In the note, thank them for their support during the
very difficult time of your life. Let them know it has recently come to
your attention that the thank you notes from your wedding, while written,
were never mailed. Thank them for the gifts. Then let them know how happy
you are and that you have found someone to share your life. Mention that
for this time, you expect (and will only accept) their well wishes.

You should be very honored that your husband to be's family is so excited
about your wedding. Clearly you and your fianc� need to do what is right
for you. You should clearly and thoughtfully consider that if these people
are so happy for you, you may want to have a celebration that includes them.
The first step is to figure out your budget. You may want to check with
your fianc�'s family to see if they are willing to contribute. If you still
want a small wedding and ceremony. Consider having a brunch at your home
for the groom's extended family when you return from your honeymoon.

I do hope this helps,
Jodi R R Smith, The MannerSmith