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Telling your ex you're getting remarried

lojay85
New User

Post #1 of 2 (1222 views)

Telling your ex you're getting remarried

My ex-husband and I have been divorced for 2 years. We have three daughters ages 15, 14, and 11. We have a shared parenting arrangement. The girls spend a week with me and then a week with him.

My ex finally has a new girlfriend and they seem very into each other. I have been dating my boyfriend for about a year and a half. My boyfriend has two boys ages 7 and 9. The mostly live with their mom and her girlfriend.

Do we have to tell our ex 's that we are planning on getting married? If so how do we do that?

It was my decision to divorce my ex and a mutual decision on my boyfriend and his ex's part.

Thank you for your help.

(This post was edited by the_admin on Jun 21, 2008, 10:54 AM)

Partner4Success
SOCIAL WORKER

Post #2 of 2 (1214 views)

Re: [lojay85] Telling your ex you're getting remarried [In reply to]

Hi,

There's no rule that says you "have" to tell your ex's. I would recommend it though. It's not that you want their permission or blessing or anything like that.

Instead, it's more a co-parenting aspect and out of respect for their parent role. The kids will tell your ex's. That is adult information and should be shared via the adults.

I would encourage you to let the spouse's know in the following way: "I just want to let you know because I'm sure the kids will say something about it. ____ and I are planning to get married."

You don't have to give a lot of details. It's more just preparing them for any questions or comments the kids may make to your ex.

I always encourage divorced parents to think "If you were in the other position, how would you like it handled?" It's a good rule to go by as things progress and you question how to handle it.

Best wishes!
Alyssa Johnson - Clinical social worker.
Remarriage Success E-Book

(This post was edited by the_admin on Jun 23, 2008, 12:05 AM)