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Religious ceremony after civil ceremony

origami_girl
New User

Post #1 of 8 (4630 views)

Religious ceremony after civil ceremony

Hello. My husband and I were married in a very informal civil ceremony. June 2006 will be our 5 year wedding anniversary and it falls on a Sunday so we thought it would be nice to have a larger religious ceremony for the benefit of our families who did not come to our civil ceremony. Are there any particular rules that we should follow for this? Would this be considered a "wedding" or is there another name for this type of ceremony? Any advice would be helpful. Thank you.

Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT / Moderator

Post #2 of 8 (4627 views)

Re: [origami_girl] Religious ceremony after civil ceremony [In reply to]

Dear Religious Ceremony,

Congratulations on your happy years of marriage.

Your ceremony couldn't be considered a wedding because you are already wedded. So, it would be considered a reaffirmation or renewal of your wedding vows. This ceremony can be as elaborate as you wish and have many of the same elements as a wedding ceremony.

Most women do not have anyone walk them down the aisle unless it is one of their children. Speaking of children, many include their children in the ceremony as MOH, best men or any other position the couple deems important.

Usually the toss of the bouquet and garter are excluded also. The receiving line is different because you are the host, not your parents.

Other than that, there is not much difference. This is not necessarily viewed as a gift giving event, but you may wish to register just in case someone wishes to give you a gift. This should not be a focus of the event.

Best wishes,
Rebecca Black, Etiquette Consultant
Etiquette Now
http://www.etiquettenow.com

origami_girl
New User

Post #3 of 8 (4625 views)

Re: [Et.byRebecca] Religious ceremony after civil ceremony [In reply to]

Thank you for the help. Hopefully my husband and I will have bought a house by then (we have been renting) but if not I am not sure I would register because I wouldn't have anywhere to put gifts. Is it OK to just leave it up to my family members entirely whether or not to give us money/gifts? We really don't want this ceremony to seem like we are looking for handouts. There were a lot of family issues when we had the civil ceremony and now that everyone is OK (for the most part) we want to do this as a way to kind of bring everyone back together.

Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT / Moderator

Post #4 of 8 (4623 views)

Re: [origami_girl] Religious ceremony after civil ceremony [In reply to]

You definitely don't need to register. Deemphasizing gift giving is a positive. Hopefully, you will mend all of those fences.
Rebecca Black, Etiquette Consultant
Etiquette Now
http://www.etiquettenow.com

origami_girl
New User

Post #5 of 8 (4622 views)

Re: [Et.byRebecca] Religious ceremony after civil ceremony [In reply to]

Ok. Thank you.

Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT / Moderator

Post #6 of 8 (4617 views)

Re: [origami_girl] Religious ceremony after civil ceremony [In reply to]

Any time, Origami Girl.
Rebecca Black, Etiquette Consultant
Etiquette Now
http://www.etiquettenow.com

RevSusanna
INTERFAITH MINISTER & AUTHOR

Post #7 of 8 (4617 views)

Re: [origami_girl] Religious ceremony after civil ceremony [In reply to]

Agreed, your ceremony would be considered a renewal of vows ceremony. It should reflect the fact that you have been married for five years. Given your five years of wedded bliss, and the fact that your first ceremony was civil, this wedding can have a very special feeling--- and much different from your first. Both are wonderful reasons for a great celebration! Your dress, your approach, the wording of your vows and other elements can all reflect this.

Wishing you another 55 years of happiness in each other's arms!

Bountiful Blessings,

Rev. Susanna Stefanachi Macomb
Reverend Susanna
Joining Hands and Hearts: Interfaith, Intercultural Wedding Celebrations : A Practical Guide for Couples

RevSusanna
INTERFAITH MINISTER & AUTHOR

Post #8 of 8 (4616 views)

Re: [origami_girl] Religious ceremony after civil ceremony [In reply to]

P.S. There are wonderful ways to bring healing to scarred relationships with family members at a time like this. This is your opportunity. There are wonderful ways to honor and include family members and friends before and within the ceremony...and later at the reception. In my ceremonies, I actually devote a portion of the service to honoring family. For example, you can open the ceremony by giving your mothers (or both parents) symbolic gifts of beauty and gratitude (roses or orchids) with an scrolled up attached personal note of "thank you". They would then read these heartfelt notes after the ceremony during a private moment---and keep them always. You can have family members give a blessing......personal or formal..... or do a reading. You ask your officiant (minister, pastor or other) to include a few words of heartfelt thanks to your family and friends on your behalf...telling them how much it means to you that they are there on that blessed day, and in your life. Good luck!

Rev. Susanna Stefanachi Macomb
Reverend Susanna
Joining Hands and Hearts: Interfaith, Intercultural Wedding Celebrations : A Practical Guide for Couples