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Our Second Marriage / Her First Wedding

mhinton1
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Post #1 of 2 (3497 views)

Our Second Marriage / Her First Wedding

I am 45 and she is 34. We are both divorced and both have 2 children between 9 and 14. My first marriage and wedding was on 1989 and had all the bells and whistles. She got married in 1992 at the county building and never had a wedding.

My mother who I love very dearly is very concerned that we have decided to have a regular church wedding and reception. She has reminded me that it is a breach of etiquette to have a second wedding the same as the first.

I have read all the documented etiquette on second weddings. It seems that all the rules pertain to the bride and not many for the groom.

My dilemma is that my fianc� wants to have the wedding she never had, and I want to give it to her, but I don�t want to upset my mom and her friends and family who subscribe to the same rules of etiquette.

My Question is: Since she never had a wedding initially, is it truly a 2nd wedding as defined in the rules of etiquette? She never wore a Vail or a train, here father never gave her away, she wants to wear white, and she wants a traditional ceremony.

We are planning a reception with approx. 200 in attendance the same day as the wedding.

Mike

Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT / Moderator

Post #2 of 2 (3491 views)

Re: [mhinton1] Our Second Marriage / Her First Wedding [In reply to]

Dear Our Second,

You may have the wedding you envision. Second marriages are a new beginning and can be celebrated anyway you wish. She didn't have a big church wedding and certainly may this time.

The veil and train are still considered smbols of youth and innocense, so is reserved for the first time bride. But, everything else included her father walking up the aisle with her is fine. He could reply to the question, "Who supports this couple in marriage?" with "Her mother and I support and bless this union." Or, everyone could reply.

Congratulations!
Rebecca Black, Etiquette Consultant
Etiquette Now
http://www.etiquettenow.com