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My 2nd &his 1st, shower etiquette & other questions

apriladuncan
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Post #1 of 2 (2157 views)

My 2nd &his 1st, shower etiquette & other questions

This is my 2nd wedding but his 1st. I was married over 9 years ago and have been divorced for 7 years. His aunts want to throw me a shower since he has never been married before. I don't know who to invite. I have included immediate family like mother, grandmothers, sister, & aunts because they all thought they should be invited. Should I invite close friends & cousins? I just don't know if this would be considered rude since most of them bought me a gift for my 1st marriage.

My fiance and I are from a very small town. The way people announce a wedding is to put an engagement picture in the local paper and only send invitations to out of town guests. Is this okay since I have been married before? I think that if I sent invitations to everybody that wants to be invited in my town than I would leave out somebody and hurt their feelings. Everybody is so excited that we got together after 10 years of being just friends. Everybody that knows us seems to want to attend the wedding.

Also our wedding is going to be casual. There will be no wedding dress, tuxedos, or attendants. Both of us will be in casual dress attire and we want our friends and family to understand that this is not a fancy wedding. It will be a simple wedding & reception in our home town church. If we put the engagement picture in the paper explaining about the ceremony and send invitations to out of town guests, how should both be worded to reflect this style of wedding?

Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT / Moderator

Post #2 of 2 (2120 views)

Re: [apriladuncan] My 2nd &his 1st, shower etiquette & other questions [In reply to]

Dear Second Wedding,

Close family should not host a bridal shower because it is viewed as self serving. However, there are exceptions and it sounds as if yours is. You live in a small town and it appears as if everyone is very close. So, in this case, with your circle so small, it should be fine. It would have been better if a friend hosted though.

Your future aunt-in-laws could invite (you can't invite) anyone who is close to you. If you feel as if someone may feel burdened by giving you another bridal shower gift, don't add them to the list. You are the best judge of this. Close friends just may want to attend.

It sounds as if your wedding will be an open church wedding, where everyone is invited. So, you could word it as such. Probably the best invitations would be handwritten, personal invitation letters. This will convey the informality and you can inform your guests of your casual intent.

Best wishes,
Rebecca Black, Etiquette Consultant
Etiquette Now
http://www.etiquettenow.com