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Bridal Shower Etiquette

StefaniR
New User

Post #1 of 6 (2490 views)

Bridal Shower Etiquette

Ladies,

I have many questions regarding a bridal shower. I am the maid-of-honor who happens to be the brides cousin. The bride feels very strong about not having the shower at someones home, because she is expecting 40-50 people. I've done some research and found that the majority

First: Would it be distateful to not serve a full lunch, but serve finger foods?

Second: Party favors or no party favors?

Third: What the usual length for a shower and how many games are played?

Last:The bride and I have bumped heads regarding where the shower should be and what is too expensive when asking for the bridesmaid to help.I feel that the bridal shower is something that is done willingly and not out of neccessity. how to i get her to but out without hurting her feelings>?

the_admin
Remarriage Forum Moderator / Moderator

Post #2 of 6 (2489 views)

Re: [StefaniR] Bridal Shower Etiquette [In reply to]

Is this a second wedding situation? Please provide more details.
I Do - Take Two Moderator

Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT / Moderator

Post #3 of 6 (2487 views)

Re: [StefaniR] Bridal Shower Etiquette [In reply to]

I'm just going to assume that this is a second wedding shower.

If this is a shower for a second wedding, those who gave to her the first time around are not obligated to this time.

Now for the big problem... the bride has no say in her shower because she cannot host it. Only the host plans. Only the host sets the budget. The host tells the bride how many she will host. And, 40-50 guests is pushing it.

The shower can be held in someone's home. In fact, that is the best place because this is supposed to be small and intimate. There is a trend toward larger events held in public places, but that doesn't mean that it is appropriate. Many guests feel as if this is another way to double gift grab. I know because they come to me to complain.

If you decide that you want to host this, host it wherever you want. The bride doesn't have to accept your offer. And, you can serve whatever food you wish to serve when that time comes.

Party favors are expected. We typically give these out as guests win games. But, there is no mandatory number of games. This is an individual choice, as is the amount of time of the shower. Typically it is about two to three hours long.

Good luck explaining to the bride that it isn't her party to plan. It may help if you told her that if she doesn't back out, you will.

Best wishes,
Rebecca Black, Etiquette Consultant
Etiquette Now
http://www.etiquettenow.com

the_admin
Remarriage Forum Moderator / Moderator

Post #4 of 6 (2486 views)

Re: [StefaniR] Bridal Shower Etiquette [In reply to]

I would simply ask the bride for a SUGGESTED guest list of (you give her the exact number of guests you are willing to host) and then do not discuss any other details with her besides the date. If she tries to talk to you about the planning politely tell her that you have it all handled and want this to be a big surprise for her. You could also say that you will take care of this to take the additional stress of of her since you know how much work planning a wedding can be for the bride.

Printable bridal shower games
I Do - Take Two Moderator

StefaniR
New User

Post #5 of 6 (2474 views)

Re: [the_admin] Bridal Shower Etiquette [In reply to]

This is actually the her first marriage. This was the site is the only one that is current. I appreciate your advice and help.

I assumed that 40-50 people was a little too big but just didin't understand how to tell that bride that she was being a little unreasonable. I think that I am just going to forward this to her instead.

Now,should I asked for her guest list and just make changes to the list and invite those that I know are close. I''ve always thought that only lose riend and close family members were invited.(?)

One more thing would I be out of place by telling her that we are throwing her a bridal shower as a courtesy not neccessity? She cam out and asked myslef and the matron to throw the shower.

the_admin
Remarriage Forum Moderator / Moderator

Post #6 of 6 (2471 views)

Re: [StefaniR] Bridal Shower Etiquette [In reply to]

If this is not for a second wedding please post your question here:

www.topweddingquestions.com

Thank you.
I Do - Take Two Moderator