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1st marriage annulled- Can my father walk me down aisle

Bronwyn
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Post #1 of 2 (3793 views)

1st marriage annulled- Can my father walk me down aisle

I'm in my late thirties and so is my fiance whom has never been married before. I was married (big wedding) in my early twenties to a man who hid his history of mental illness from me. The marriage only lasted 2 years, one year of which he lived in and out of institutions. There were no kids and my marriage is in the process of being annulled. My fiance's parents want to throw a BIG bash for their son who is their only child. I would have preferred a small, quiet ceremony but I can sympathize with their feelings that this is their only chance of a wedding in the family. However, I'm concerned about several things. Firstly, I don't want my parents to feel they have to pay a cent for this costly affair; they paid for my first reception, have paid for 2 other daughters' weddings, and still have two more daughters to go. Secondly, my fiance's parents want to give us an engagement party which is typically done by the bride's parents. And last of all, can my father walk me down the aisle without looking tacky since my first marriage was annulled (so technically, my first wedding never was....)

Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT / Moderator

Post #2 of 2 (3783 views)

Re: [Bronwyn] 1st marriage annulled- Can my father walk me down aisle [In reply to]

Dear Can my father walk me,

First of all, please do not have an engagement party (or even wear your ring) until you are annulled. Even though you haven't been living with your husband for some time, you are considered married. I know this seems silly, but technically it is not proper. And, considering the engagement party, anyone can host it. Your parents should just have the first opportunity to do so.

As for your fiance's family wishing to cover the cost of your wedding, this is great. Perhaps you could talk to your family about how concerned you are that they do not incur any costs with your wedding. It would probably be best to talk to your fiance about this too and ask him to let his parents know how you feel. Money seems to be a catalyst for many a disagreement.

Your father can still walk you down the aisle even if this is your second wedding. He is not 'giving you away'. He is giving his support.

Congratulations,
Rebecca Black, Etiquette Consultant
Etiquette Now
http://www.etiquettenow.com