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which comes first - annulment or engagement

Amandabrarian
New User

Post #1 of 3 (1441 views)

which comes first - annulment or engagement

Hi there,

I have a question about beginning the annulment process. I recently obtained a civil divorce and my boyfriend and I have talked about marriage in the Catholic church. I have indicated that I would like us to go to the Priest together to inquire about annulment before we get engaged, but he doesn't seem to think it's a problem. I don't know if I can bear telling people that I'm waiting for an answer from the tribunal before I can set a wedding date. That seems to be the first question people ask once a couple becomes engaged.

Does it make more sense to begin the annulment now (before engagement), or is that "putting the cart before the horse."

The reason I ask is because I will likely be granted the Pauline Priviledge as my former spouse and I were both unbaptized. I have since become a Catholic through the RCIA program, and wish to marry a Catholic.

(This post was edited by the_admin on Jun 13, 2008, 1:07 PM)

startingover
MARRIAGE PREPARATION ADVISORS

Post #2 of 3 (1421 views)

Re: [Amandabrarian] which comes first - annulment or engagement [In reply to]

Congratulations on finding love again. You are wise to consider the requirements of an annulment before becoming engaged.

Please speak with a priest who will be able to advise you as to which annulment form you will need to complete. As an unbaptized couple in your first marriage, you were not expected to follow canon law and might not be permitted to use the Pauline Privilege. Your first marriage is still considered valid by the Catholic Church, so you may need to fill out the longer form. The shortened form is for Catholics who married outside the guidelines of canon law.

Whichever form your priest advises, please know that this can be a valuable asset for beginning a new marriage. The annulment questions help you understand what went wrong in your first marriage. With the help of the Holy Spirit, you can become a better person with a stronger faith in a God of amazing love and grace.

If it will upset you to tell people you're waiting for an annulment to come through, perhaps it would be better to wait on your engagement until you receive the "all clear."

God bless you and guide you.
Kay and Dennis Flowers
Authors of
Catholic Annulment, Spiritual Healing

the_admin
Remarriage Forum Moderator / Moderator

Post #3 of 3 (1416 views)

Re: [Amandabrarian] which comes first - annulment or engagement [In reply to]

If you want to be proper, you should wait until the annulment has been approved before becoming engaged. Definitely do not make any wedding plans before the annulment is completed. We have heard from other couples who went ahead and planned a year in advance thinking they would have enough time and they were left with a wedding hall, caterer, etc an were not able to go ahead with the plan. Plus, they lost all of their deposits. Better to wait. If it's a good strong relationship, it will bear the test of time.

Be strong.
I Do - Take Two Moderator