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annulment questions

forget-me-not
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Post #1 of 3 (1558 views)

annulment questions

Within the list of impediments, there is one which mentions a prior bond. My husband of nearly thirty years is finally getting his paperwork together to apply for a Catholic Annulment. He is having a difficult time with recall, which is a primary problem, but there is an issue that I want to ask about. We were both in college when we made a marriage vow to each other, asking God to bless us, as we were unable to wed legally at the time - we both were in school. We mutually broke up not long after he graduated, and I was still in school. We both thought the other person did not love them anymore. So what transpired was he got married, had a child, and within four years of that marriage, he contacted me out of the blue upon impending divorce. For years that vow haunted me, to the point that I even dreamed a priest told me I couldn't marry because of it. My spouse still recognizes our pledge to each other. I know it may seem silly, and childish, perhaps, but we have always loved each other, and we have taken this seriously. I have been sick over this all these years; he had hoped my anguish would have gone away, but it won't. Is this an impediment?

He is also having a great deal of trouble recalling what happened so many years ago. What can help in this situation?

Thank you.

Fr. Anderson
EPISCOPAL PRIEST

Post #2 of 3 (1556 views)

Re: [forget-me-not] annulment questions [In reply to]

Dear Forget-me-not...

There is no impediment... All of us have done things in our youth that may haunt us to some degree. Clearly this still bothers you a great deal and I would suggest finding a good counselor (Roman Catholics have a great network of such people.) and discuss it with them...

As for the annulment... Recall or not your priest should be the one to help you get through this process. It may also be part of the process that helps heal the worries of past as well...

Have a blessed Pascha!!!
Father Anderson, Episcopal Priest
http://www.fatheranderson.com

startingover
MARRIAGE PREPARATION ADVISORS

Post #3 of 3 (1552 views)

Re: [forget-me-not] annulment questions [In reply to]

How wonderful for you both that your husband is finally getting his first marriage annulled. After his annulment comes through, you can have your present marriage blessed by the Church and may put your mind at ease.

Fr. Anderson has given you excellent advice. Please seek Christian counseling to help you deal with your anguish over the past. God can forgive anything when you seek Him with all your heart. He loves you with an amazing love and wants you to heal from your pain. Perhaps you need to forgive yourself as God forgives you. The price for your forgiveness has already been paid for by Jesus Christ. Accept this wonderful gift and be free.

From the information in your post, your vows were made between the two of you and thus not within the boundaries of canon law. As such, the Church would not consider your vows binding or sacramental. This would not be an impediment, as you fear.

If your husband is having difficulty remembering his previous marriage, perhaps the people he chose as witnesses will have some clear memories they can write down for the tribunal. He can pray and ask the Holy Spirit to bring to mind pertinent details of his previous marriage. It would help if you both prayed that the tribunal will have enough evidence to give him a positive outcome.

God bless and comfort you.
Kay and Dennis Flowers
Authors of
Catholic Annulment, Spiritual Healing