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MichelleLozada
New User
Jul 6, 2005, 1:15 PM
Post #1 of 5
(3565 views)
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Roman Catholic marriage to Ukrainian Orthodox
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I was born and raised Roman Catholic. I was married once in the Catholic church to a non-catholic. Now that I've been divorced for several years I have found my true love who happens to be an Ukranian Orthodox. We both attend a Catholic church and receive the sacraments since the Orthodox church states if you can not locate an Orthodox church to seek out another Apostolic Church to receive your sacraments and my pastor agreed. We both approached the pastor of the church we were attending 3 years ago about my annullment from my previous marriage and mentioned that my fiancee was Orthodox and the Orthodox does not require annullments, they believe in mistakes. My pastor told us that he would need a letter from the Orthodox church stating this and the reason. Well, we got this statement and in that time frame we switched to a closer Catholic church and this pastor is now telling us that my fiancee is now required to get an annullment before he can get married in the Catholic church. I have had my annullment for a month now and we are ready to get marrried until this issue arose. We do not want to wait another 2 years to get married in order for his annullment to go through (which he does not need and was told this years ago by the pastor of our first church). He refuses to get an annullment - he states he is NOT Catholic and does not want to change his religion if there is nothing wrong with the one he is in. I do not blame him I will not seithch to Orthodox since I find nothing wrong with mine either (at least right now. They are both Aposotolic Churches and I just can't understand why they sre giving us suvh a hard time. He has agreed to get married in the Roman Catholic church, but they don't think we can. But, I can get married in the Orthodox church since I have my annullmet.
Do you have any suggestions?? Please HELP!
(This post was edited by the_admin on Aug 10, 2005, 9:23 AM)
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startingover
MARRIAGE PREPARATION ADVISORS
Jul 7, 2005, 9:02 AM
Post #2 of 5
(3551 views)
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Re: [MichelleLozada] Roman Catholic seeks marriage to Orthodox
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We totally sympathize with your predicament. Not being familiar with the Ukrainian Orthodox Church, we can't give a definitive answer, but we offer these suggestions. If your fiance's priest says he is free to marry, you may decide to marry in the Orthodox Church. Be aware, however, that this may interfer with receiving the sacraments in the Catholic Church, as your present priest is abiding by standard Church policy which states that without an annulment, your fiance still is not free to marry. If your fiance decides to go through the annulment process, he may gain valuable insight into what went wrong with his previous marriage and this can be a positive factor in your future marriage. Then you can be married with the Church's blessings and receive the sacraments together. Pray carefully before you make your decision and please be sure to get some pre-marriage counseling from both the Catholic and the Orthodox priests so you will be fully aware of what your decision entails. We are also an interchurch couple (Catholic and Protestant) and we know both the frustrations and the richness an interchurch marriage can bring. May God bless and guide you.
Kay and Dennis Flowers
Authors of
Catholic Annulment, Spiritual Healing
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MichelleLozada
New User
Jul 7, 2005, 11:15 AM
Post #3 of 5
(3546 views)
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Re: [startingover] Roman Catholic seeks marriage to Orthodox
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Thank you for your reply. What if I changed my religion to Orthodox - it is the responsibility of the Catholic church to obide by Law which states that another person from an Aposolic church may receive the sacraments from the Catholic church? My priest agreed with my fiancee when he started attending church services in our church. So, I'm assuming they will stick by this if I changed. I really do not want to, but I feel the Catholic church is pushing me out. Their services are exactly alike; same prayers, same worship area, etc. I would still be able to attend mass at my church, but as an Orthodox christian and not a Catholic christian and still receive the sacraments. My daughter is a baptized Catholic and for me not to receive communion because I married her "dad" in another church will be too confusing to her.
Am I wrong????? What do I do????????????
(This post was edited by the_admin on Jul 7, 2005, 1:07 PM)
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Frieda Arpoika
CATHOLIC LAY PASTORAL MINISTER
Jul 7, 2005, 12:40 PM
Post #4 of 5
(3542 views)
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Re: [MichelleLozada] Roman Catholic seeks marriage to Orthodox
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No, you are not so wrong. Ideally your fiance would apply for an annulment - don't give up to easily on this. The process can be healing and putting closure on the past. It would put both of you in full communion not only with his Church but also with yours. But if that option is not available to you at this time, you may have to decide based on prayer and conscience. Noone can tell you what to do in this case, because decisions of conscience are between you and God - only God can read your heart. This "internal forum" option - in your case joining his Church to marry in his Church - should only be used as a very last resort, and only you can make that decision. A priest can help you explore the options, but he cannot give you the go-ahead and make the decison for you. That is between you and God.
Frieda Arpoika
Catholic Lay Pastoral Minister
St. Daniel Catholic Community
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startingover
MARRIAGE PREPARATION ADVISORS
Jul 8, 2005, 1:51 PM
Post #5 of 5
(3532 views)
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Re: [MichelleLozada] Roman Catholic seeks marriage to Orthodox
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Excellent advice from Frieda! We would also suggest that you talk over your situation with a member of your diosese's Tribunal. They are experts in canon law and will be able to clear up any confusion you may have about differences and similarities between Catholic and Orthodox churches. As for your daughter being confused, a great deal depends on her age and how you explain everything to her. Please talk with someone on your Tribunal who will be able to guide you as you and your fiance make decisions on your future. God bless you.
Kay and Dennis Flowers
Authors of
Catholic Annulment, Spiritual Healing
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