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writerindepth
New User
May 31, 2007, 2:51 PM
Post #1 of 2
(1146 views)
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Marriage annulment
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I need help. I am in love with a separated catholic man. His wife cheated on him and hence the separation. hey have a 7 year old child together. HE DOESNT WANT A NASTY DIVORCE DUE TO OBVIOUS REASONS AND HENCE IS KEEPING THE ADULTERY OUT OF COURT, they are trying for a mutual divorce when the time is right, because of the child being too young to understand. My concern is that they both are catholic and they are registered only with the church during marriage. (India by the way) I have read that the church looks at concerns faced only at the time of taking vows. there were none then. I doubt he will bring up the adultery even in church. What are the procedures for annulment if these terms are kept hidden and how long will it take? i am a protestant. Will that make matters worse?
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startingover
MARRIAGE PREPARATION ADVISORS
May 31, 2007, 6:37 PM
Post #2 of 2
(1139 views)
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Your case sounds complicated, but we'll try to answer to the best of our ability.
A Catholic who is separated from his spouse is still considered to be married, in the eyes of the Church and in the eyes of the law. As such, he really needs to be working on reconciling his marriage, if at all possible, especially since there is a young child to consider. If he has done all he can and the marriage seems doomed to failure, he will need to divorce his wife before he can even consider annulment.
Since we are not familiar with India's court system, we are not sure what a "mutual divorce" is, unless you mean a "no-fault" divorce. If they are waiting for their child to be old enough to understand divorce, it may be a few years. Some adults still don't understand or accept their parents' divorce decision.
For an annulment to be granted, you are correct that the Catholic Church looks at conditions at the time of and prior to the weddiing. If the couple came to the altar with any intentions other than creating a permanent, faithful union with God at the center of their lives to help them live out their wedding vows, then an annulment could be granted.
It makes no difference whether you are Protestant or not. The weight of evidence must be provided by the one seeking the annulment and all questions must be answered completely and honestly, with nothing hidden. In essence, he will be standing before God, telling his view of the marriage. His former wife will also be standing before the Judge of the Universe, telling her view of the marriage.
Annulment is a very serious matter, but can be extremely healing for emotional wounds. Both parties will learn more about what happened in their marriage, what problems were evident from the very beginning of their relationship. They can both benefit from this and become better persons and better parents for their child, if they choose joint custody.
The process can take months or years, depending on the case load of the tribunal and the complications of the case. If he is interested in seeking an annulment, it would be wise for him to speak with his priest, even before deciding to divorce his wife. His priest will be able to answer any questions.
May God guide you.
Kay and Dennis Flowers
Authors of
Catholic Annulment, Spiritual Healing
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