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Catholic marriage to a woman whose marriage was cilvilly annulled

crabtreegobain
New User

Post #1 of 7 (210 views)

Catholic marriage to a woman whose marriage was cilvilly annulled

Hi
I am a 25 year old practicing Roman Catholic and I know that I am bound to the laws of the Christian faith. Since I have never been married before, can I have a church marriage to a woman, also a practicing Catholic who has been only civil married before but never church married, since she has had her civil marriage annulled. She is a great mother of five children and i think she deserves better.
Thank You

(This post was edited by the_admin on Feb 5, 2010, 9:41 AM)

startingover
MARRIAGE PREPARATION ADVISORS

Post #2 of 7 (201 views)

Re: [kylebhaskar14] Catholic marriage to a woman whose marriage was cilvilly annulled [In reply to]

You sound like great husband material, in wanting to protect and care for a woman with five children.

If her previous civil marriage was annuled by the Church (this is the short version of annulment and takes only a few days), then she is free to re-marry in the Church. Please be sure you both get some good pre-marriage counseling as there is bound to be emotional baggage on her part at least.

May God bless you and hold you in His love.
Kay and Dennis Flowers
Authors of
Catholic Annulment, Spiritual Healing

crabtreegobain
New User

Post #3 of 7 (199 views)

Re: [startingover] Catholic marriage to a woman whose marriage was cilvilly annulled [In reply to]

Hi Kay and Dennis Flowers

Thank you so much for that wonderful reply, its just what I was hoping for. Yes I will consider your advise and get some good pre-marriage coulseling. Although most people I know does not approve of my relationship especially my immediate family I am determined to do whatever it takes to have her as my wife so long as it is not a sin in the eyes of the lord. Since i still have to establish my career to be able to provide for her and her children it may be some time before we go through with our plans of getting married. Also this is a long distant relationship, I have never yet met her in person but I trust her completely. Also since she feels compelled to have a child with me I know that it is not what she really wants. I would like to know if it will be a sin not to have children with her once we are married.

Thanks and regards

startingover
MARRIAGE PREPARATION ADVISORS

Post #4 of 7 (190 views)

Re: [kylebhaskar14] Catholic marriage to a woman whose marriage was cilvilly annulled [In reply to]

Your honest reply reveals more of your situation, which we feel goes beyond the scope of this forum. We suggest you talk with a priest about your plans to marry a woman you've never yet met.

The simple answer to your question is that in marriage, a Catholic couple must be open to having children so marrying with the intent NOT to have children would be against Catholic teaching and is grounds for annulment. However, since the woman already has five children, this may not apply. You really need to talk things over with a priest who is skilled in canon law. And get some counseling.

May God guide you in your decisions for the future.
Kay and Dennis Flowers
Authors of
Catholic Annulment, Spiritual Healing

crabtreegobain
New User

Post #5 of 7 (184 views)

Re: [startingover] Catholic marriage to a woman whose marriage was cilvilly annulled [In reply to]

Hi Kay and Dennis

I would like to tell you that she is a very respectable person and I dont understand why just beacuse I have'nt yet met her in person it changes everything. We are in touch almost daily by video chat and that is how we have got to know each other so well. And besides I'm from India and therefore I come from a culture where arranged marriages is still a common practice, wherein children solely trust the decision of their parents as to whom they are to marry and therefore get married to people who they have never met before.

You have given me some valuable insights into my situation and I thank you very much for that and I also intend to take all the advice that you have given me. I am writing this mail just so that you wont get the wrong idea about us. I am ready to accept any other advice that you may have for me.

Thanks and regards.

startingover
MARRIAGE PREPARATION ADVISORS

Post #6 of 7 (165 views)

Re: [crabtreegobain] Catholic marriage to a woman whose marriage was cilvilly annulled [In reply to]

Coming from India, you must already be aware that arranged marriages are done with great care and much research into each prospective family before a firm commitment can be established. Daily video chats are not the same.

We are concerned that you may be setting yourself up for heartache. Marriage is a lifelong commitment and you would be starting out with several potholes in an already bumpy road. Your family does not seem enthusiastic about it, she has five children and much emotional baggage from a previous marriage, you don't seem to want any more children while she does, and you really don't know any more about her than what she has told you.

Your heart seems trusting and full of love, but we feel you need more guidance before marrying this lady. Make this a matter of sincere prayer and ask others to pray with you that God will give you wisdom. He loves you beyond life itself and He wants only the best for you.
Kay and Dennis Flowers
Authors of
Catholic Annulment, Spiritual Healing

crabtreegobain
New User

Post #7 of 7 (159 views)

Re: [startingover] Catholic marriage to a woman whose marriage was cilvilly annulled [In reply to]

Hi Kay and Dennis

Yes i understand what u're saying but I am hoping for the best. I will not rush into marriage yet and she dosent want to either without getting to know me better. I understand that the odds are stacked against us and our relationship is very un-conventional but I wont give up just yet. I will look for more guidance as u suggest, as for prayer I can pray only by myself as I'm working in Saudi Arabia and worship of non-islamic religions is forbidden here and the only other christian i know of where i live is'nt religious. Yes your take on arranged marriages is perfectly correct and I am well aware of it. I pray also that god will lead me to the right path, he has blessed me with so much.

Thanks for your patience and advise.

Regards.