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My second his first - don't want to put divorced name on invite

rsktmk
New User

Post #1 of 6 (5038 views)

My second his first - don't want to put divorced name on invite

OK. Hate to be difficult about this, this is my second marriage and my fiance's first. I really don't want to use my previous married name on the invitation. Basically, we are hosting with his family and my family assisting and my children participating

We have discussed this and plan to word the invite something like this

Tina Marie

and

James William

along with their families request the honour of your presence at the ceremony and celebration of their marriage.......

Everything I have read says I have to put my current "legal" last name on the invite and I REALLY DON'T WANT TO.....

Any real useful advice. I wrote to another forum and basically got told "tough".....

Thanks!

Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT

Post #2 of 6 (5030 views)

Re: [rsktmk] My second his first - don't want to put divorced name on invite [In reply to]

Dear No Last Name,

When the bride's parents are hosting their names are listed at the top of the invitation, so the bride wouldn't have to list her last name. But, this would be for the first time bride who has the same last name as her parents. In your case, you have a different last name so this wouldn't work. There really is no other option that I can see unless you want to write informal invitations.

Wedding invitations can be like any other invitation if the wedding is informal. If yours is, then you could write your invitations as if it is a letter to your friends and family. It doesn't have to be in the traditional wedding invitation form. Just tell the guests the who, what, where, and when.

If your wedding is formal at all (multiple attendants and sit down dinner) you would need to demonstrate this through your invitations. This means the traditional form using your last name.

Best wishes,
Rebecca Black, Etiquette Consultant
Etiquette Now
http://www.etiquettenow.com

rsktmk
New User

Post #3 of 6 (5028 views)

Re: [Et.byRebecca] My second his first - don't want to put divorced name on invite [In reply to]

It is an evening wedding, but not a sit down dinner, and I only have my sister and daughter standing with me, guess it depends on the definition of multiple.....

I think that because it is less formal, then my method looks like it is ok

Thanks for your help and the attention to detail in your response.

Tina

Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT

Post #4 of 6 (5025 views)

Re: [rsktmk] My second his first - don't want to put divorced name on invite [In reply to]

It would be fine if you are writing this as a letter to friends and family. It wouldn't be fine if you are writing this as a traditional wedding invitation.

Your guests may be confused as to who this Tina Marie is.
Rebecca Black, Etiquette Consultant
Etiquette Now
http://www.etiquettenow.com

rsktmk
New User

Post #5 of 6 (5025 views)

Re: [Et.byRebecca] My second his first - don't want to put divorced name on invite [In reply to]

ok, here is more detail.... sister, daughter, best man, other groomsmen, ring bearer, flower girl....

Justice of the Peace, Ceremony at reception site, dad not walking down the aisle, but just "giving me away". Food Station reception with DJ, light decos and favors, wedding dresses and tuxes....???

I'm considering it may be semi formal.... again, somewhat relaxed, only 75 guests.

Will anyone "judge" me on this? I really don't want to use the last name.... Frown

rsktmk
New User

Post #6 of 6 (5024 views)

Re: [Et.byRebecca] My second his first - don't want to put divorced name on invite [In reply to]

basically, everyone will know who tina marie is.....so i guess we are ok

thanks again, hate to be a pain, but this one has had me bugged for a while.