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suavecito47
New User
Jan 20, 2008, 7:37 PM
Post #1 of 2
(714 views)
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Help! Big Mistake in Telling the Kids
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I've been seeing a young lady for a while now. We've dated and have had a growing relationship. We've discussed the topic of marriage, rings, vows, ceremony, and the like. Of most importance is the children. She has two great children (boy-4 and girl-7) from her previous marriage. I'm fond of all of them.
In any case, she sent me to the store (alone) with her daughter the other day. It was a time that her daughter and I got to hang out; it gave time for us to get to know each other better. We were in the car and I commented to her that I know that she is honest with her mother, as her mother is with her. I asked her if I could be honest with her and she said yes. I asked her daughter how she would feel if i wanted to marry her mom. She said that she would like that very much! I asked her why she thought that and her response at first was an "I don't know." As she held my hand walking into the store she told me that she liked that fact that I was good to her, her brother, and her mom.
After we got home, she and her brother went to their rooms and I sat with my significant other in the living room. I told her what I had asked her daughter and her response was "YOU DID WHAT! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THAT!" She commented that I should have asked her first. I conceeded that her comment was true and I should have consulted her. She loves to chat on her cellphone and told some of her friends what I had done. She and her friends felt that I had crossed a serious boundary. She was upset and we mutually understood that I should leave so that she could think.
She sent me a text: "You have to understand that i had no chance to talk to my daughter about me moving on or the possibility of another to the family. You took that from me"
She asked for me to give her some space and I did.
How and can we recover from this?
(This post was edited by the_admin on Jan 21, 2008, 10:40 AM)
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the_admin
Remarriage Forum Moderator
/ Moderator
Jan 20, 2008, 8:16 PM
Post #2 of 2
(707 views)
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Re: [suavecito47] Help! Big Mistake in Telling the Kids
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Mike -
While I am sorry for your trouble, this is a little more than we handle at the site. We really only take questions regarding the wedding and planning surrounding it, sorry.
You sound like a genuine, loving man. I would suggest seeking out a life coach, therapist or a clergy member to help guide you through this relationship issue.
Good luck
I Do - Take Two Site Administrator
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