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jslewis2
New User
Dec 6, 2004, 12:27 AM
Post #1 of 5
(7008 views)
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When to Tell Kids about Re-marriage Plans?
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My fiance and I have been dating for several months and are wondering how far in advance to tell our children we are getting married. She has a 9 year old daughter and a 4 year old son. I have an 8 year old daughter and a 7 year old son. We don't to tell them to far in advance, leaving them wondering if this is ever going to happen, but we also want to give them enough time to address issues that they may have. Does anyone have a recommendation on how far in advance to tell the children you are getting married?
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Jill
Family Psychotherapist
Dec 6, 2004, 11:56 AM
Post #2 of 5
(7000 views)
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Re: [jslewis2] When to Tell Kids about Re-marriage Plans?
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If you are sure (and it sounds as if you are) then it is not too early to talk about getting married and what that will mean to al of you.
No need to build up a lot of excitement about the actual wedding plans until you set a date.
Jill Curtis, psychotherapist
http://familyonwards.com Author, How to Get Married ... Again (A Guide to Second Weddings) available from this site!
(This post was edited by the_admin on Dec 6, 2004, 12:02 PM)
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emily4families
Novice
Dec 8, 2004, 8:16 AM
Post #3 of 5
(6977 views)
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Re: [jslewis2] When to Tell Kids about Re-marriage Plans?
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Good for you to be seeking advice and to be thinking about how your plans will affect the children! I agree that if you are truly committed, announcing your engagement and sharing what that means to everyone is appropiate now. Once you've set the date, you can share with the children your plans, and let them know in what ways you'd like them to be involved.
Wishing you all the best,
Emily Bouchard
Emily Bouchard, MSSW
Life Coach, Speaker, & Trainer
Author, "Conquering Conflict: Techniques and Strategies for Resolving Blended Family Conflict"
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jslewis2
New User
Dec 9, 2004, 7:20 PM
Post #4 of 5
(6968 views)
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Re: [emily4families] When to Tell Kids about Re-marriage Plans?
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Thank you both for your advice. We are doing lots of preparation including reading "Successful Stepfamilies". We are not going to go into this unprepared. We realize that it is going to be an adjustment for the kids, because all of them has always had their own rooms and now they will be sharing rooms. Do you have any recommendations for making this transition easier? Thank you.
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emily4families
Novice
Dec 9, 2004, 7:35 PM
Post #5 of 5
(6967 views)
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Re: [jslewis2] When to Tell Kids about Re-marriage Plans?
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You're off to a great start by consciously preparing and thinking ahead. I highly recommend creating a safe environment where everyone in the family is able to express how they feel about changes and new things. Some families use a designated "family meeting", others have a sharing circle ritual. You'll come up with something that suits your family's needs and lifestyle. Just make sure that whatever is said during that time is honored, and that there are no repercussions later on.
Emily Bouchard, MSSW
Life Coach, Speaker, & Trainer
Author, "Conquering Conflict: Techniques and Strategies for Resolving Blended Family Conflict"
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