Sooze
New User
Oct 31, 2007, 4:20 PM
Post #1 of 2
(1095 views)
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Sudenly she wants him to herself?
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My future 15 year old step daughter and I have been getting on great. We genuinely like each other and when her Dad proposed she said she was delighted and looking forward to having me as her step mother . I had nothing to do with her parents divorce.
I met her Dad three years after the divorce and it has been a whirl wind romance. I met my future step daughter a couple of weeks after we declared our love for each other and I've always been careful to give them time on their own. She lives with her Mother 500 in another country and her Dad works abroad so he's only home one month out of every three. When he's home either she comes up to us or her Dad goes down to visit her, quite often both in the same month. She can't get out of school as much this year as it's her exam year so we've agreed that we will go down more. Sadly his leave doesn't coincide with her holidays. I've spoken to him about this but he can't get it changed. We always take her on holiday with us too. However this summer she chose to go on holiday with a friends family, who have children the same age as her. This hurt her Dad deeply. I explained that she hadn't chosen another family over him, she'd chosen a more exciting holiday with kids her own age rather than being stuck on an admittedly quiet holiday with us (we always go to the same place and it's usually out of season so she doesn't meet anyone her own age). I've suggested we go somewhere more exciting, the problem is he has a very stressful job so needs to relax when he's home so that is why we go to our holiday villa. We have friends there and it's good for him. This time round was top holiday season so there would have been people around her own age that she could get to know but she had already made up her mind.
So we went on holiday on our own and he proposed while we were away! He went to see her as soon as he got home to tell her we were engaged and as I said she was happy for us. She asked if she could come up for half term to get to know me better despite her Dad being away again by then. She has just been up and we got on fine. I felt really positive and pleased that she'd made the effort. I really thought it was all going to be great. I couldn't take much time off as I'm over my holiday quota as it is just now but I did manage a day and a half off.
She told me she wanted to see more of her Dad and we agreed that the next time her Dad was back we would come down to visit for a full week so they could spend more time together. I've booked the week off work and it's too late to change it now. Last night she told her Dad she wants him to come on his own. That means he will get home after being away for two months, I'll get two days with him then he's away for a full week. The only week I can get off work while he's home. He gets back the the night before I go back to work. We will have no decent time together and a precious holiday will be wasted. I suggested that I come down with him but I'll make myself scarce while she's with him, just stay in the hotel and read. He picks her up from school, they go shopping or to a movie, go for a meal then he drops her home about 9 in the evening because she's got school in the morning. We could spend the days and nights together and she doesn't need to see me but she doesn't even want that. I don't know what has changed, if she's testing how far she can go or what? I don't know what to do. If she's going to demand a week every time he's home I'm barely going to see him and will make me less happy about having her with us on holiday or weekends. She's never cared about having him to herself. I've often suggested they spend a day doing something together just the two of them and she's always wanted me to go along too. Is it always going to be like this? If He has to split his precious time at home between us it's going to tear him apart and I don't know what will happen to us. I keep thinking another year or two and she'll have her own life but I don't know how that will
to pan out. Please help. I don't know what to do.
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