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How to tell the ex about remarriage.

MALASIE@RCN.COM
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Post #1 of 2 (5611 views)

How to tell the ex about remarriage.

I ASKED FOR HELP BEFORE
I WAS THE ENGAGED DIVORCED SINGLE MOTHER OF TWO WHO WAS SEPERATED FOR OVER 4 YEARS.
THE KIDS ARE ADJUSTING TO THE NEWS OF MY REMARRIAGE IN OCT OF THIS YEAR.
ITS STILL NOT EASY THEY BECOME SAD FRO THEMSELVES BUT FAKE BEING HAPPY FOR ME.
IM SORRY IM HURTING THERE LIVES NOW BUT I WISH TO HAVE HAPPINESS ALSO.
MY MARRIAGE TO THERE DAD WAS UGLY AND VIOLENT WITH ALOT OF HEARTACHE.

THEY ASKED THAT THEY BE THE ONES TO TELL THEIR FATHER OF THE UPCOMING MARRIAGE.THEY ARE 10 AND 11.
I WAS VERY RELIEVED MYSELF.
BUT NOW ITS ALMOST THREE WEEKS SINCE I TOLD THEM AND THEY HAVENT TOLD HIM.
THEY ARE AFRAID HE WILL CRY.
SHOULD I JUST DROP HIM A NOTE

(This post was edited by the_admin on May 4, 2004, 4:17 PM)

Remarriage Forum Moderator / Moderator

Post #2 of 2 (5606 views)

Re: [In reply to]

You are the responsible adult and you should be the person to tell your ex about the remarriage. Do this without the children present.
The children should not have the responsibility of relaying this message since they may not present the news appropriately.

You deserve happiness and if this remarriage makes you happy then you must tell your children just that. Take them out for a special dinner, just the three of you and tell them that you love them, but you also love this man and are going to marry him. You hope they will support you and in time come to accept it. Remind them that this marriage does not mean less time for them, it means a happier mom for them! Then show them that you are happy. Make sure they keep a good relationship with their father in as much as you are able.

If you continue to let them believe that they are in charge they will continue to manipulate you. Take a stand for your own happiness and the rest wil fall into place. If need be, seek family counseling.