[moonbaby66]

My husband and I are renewing our vows in march; we eloped and decided to have a church wedding on our 20th anniversary. Would it be inappropriate to have a pot luck, covered dish reception? If not, how would I let people know? Should I send a separate announcement with the wedding announcement? How far in advance should you send out announcements?

[the_admin]

Hello Moonbaby:

By covered dish do you mean a potluck supper?

[moonbaby66]

yes, my husband and i would provide the main dish and have everyone bring something. we thought that this would help cut down the cost of the reception since we are paying for the entire wedding ourselves.

[Etiquette Now]

Dear Moonbaby,

A potluck reception can be viewed as tacky. Sorry. If this is a small, informal affair either in your home, or at the church, then a potluck would seem appropriate. But, none of your guest should be expected to participate. This is something that the family contributes to--very old fashion, very casual.

There really is no polite way to ask guests to create or pay for your party. And, that is how this is viewed. So, the best thing to do would be to plan a reception that you can afford. A reception early in the day (10 am) is usually less expensive because no meal is expected. A cake and beverage reception is fine and could be scheduled around 2 pm also when people do not expect to be fed.

As for the announcements... you would be mailing renewal invitations approximately six weeks before your event. You can include your reception information on the same card or a separate card. This is very similar to a wedding invitation, but is usually less formal. Of course, you would be hosting and inviting.

Best wishes,