[MrsSheldon]

My husband and I are approaching our 5 year wedding anniversary in May. When we first got married I was pregnant and it was a quickie wedding. We have been to hell and back these past 5 years. Between having two kids and having a complete hysterectomy, our marriage has suffered. I really want to do something special for our 5 year anniversary by renewing our vows. I am just wondering if it's to soon to do something?

If we do end up renewing our vows we were thinking something small - just us and some close friends in Vegas. We would leave our toddlers (age 2 and 4) at home. Is that wrong to leave them out?

-Confused!!!!

[the_admin]

Happy anniversary and congratulations on making your marriage work.

Although it isn't always easy to raise a couple of kids while having some medical issues, it's not all that unusual. Many of us experience trials, especially during the first few years of marriage. (my husband died right before our third anniversary leaving me with two children to raise, support and love, so I totally get the difficulties issue) Most couples tend to renew their vows for either benchmark/milestone anniversaries or if something catastrophic happens in their marriage that changes the relationship, thus making a need to renew (estrangement/separation, death of a child, life-threatening illnesses, etc.)

So, if you'd like to celebrate your 5th anniversary, I'd recommend asking the parents or some other trusted babysitter to care for the kids and go away on a romantic trip to reconnect. You can certainly renew your vows while away. There's something very special about doing this in private. However, if you'd like to invite a few family members/friends, that would be appropriate as long as you don't make it out to be a wedding. I don't see anything wrong with not including your toddlers since they probably wouldn't remember any of it, though this is a personal decision for you and your husband to make. No one else can say what's right or wrong there.

Please let us know what you decide.

[Etiquette Now]

I agree with this excellent advice. Plus, renewing your vows in Vegas really is too similar to a wedding, especially with the inclusion of friends. So, if your heart is set on a vow renewal so soon in your marriage, it is best if it is a small, private affair.

The romantic get-away is best though. That is a great way to reconnect and celebrate your 5th.