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Rehearsal dinner second wedding who gets invited, who pays?

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#1 User is offline   guyzsecond

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We are getting married (second wedding) in Yosemite (small wedding, far away for guests). Do we invite everyone (no host) and is it ok to just pay for immediate wedding party only?

#2 User is offline   the_admin

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Only those who need to rehearse need to be invited to the rehearsal dinner. There has to be a host (the host is the person paying, which is traditionally the groom;s parent's but in the case of a second wedding it's usually the bridal couple). Anyone who gets invited is paid for with no exceptions. No guest should ever have to pay for themselves. That being said, the rehearsal dinner doe not have to be extravagant.
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#3 User is offline   guyzsecond

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My concern is not inviting everyone to the rehearsal dinner being in such a secluded venue and hurting others feelings. There are only a couple other places to eat. We are obviously paying for all wedding party guests but was hoping to have all guests included and having them pay for their own. Not sure on this second wedding etiquette.

#4 User is offline   guyzsecond

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To follow up with the last reply, we were concerned by having wedding party guests for dinner and their family members really have only one other place to eat separate from each other. We were worried about being cheap for not paying for the others. It will be so much more money for us if we paid for everyone. Example: child of couple, sister of brother. Would it be ok to have the others pay for their own?

#5 User is offline   the_admin

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The problem is that when you invite, you pay. I don't think you have to worry about not inviting all wedding guests to the rehearsal dinner. Most people understand that the rehearsal dinner is only for immediate family and wedding party, those who need to rehearse. Just prepare a list, no matter how small, of places to eat and other fun things to do in the area and place in the hotel room of each guest. perhaps you could make a small welcome basket that includes the list along with a few little items like bottled water, snacks, etc. Since you say there aren't many of these guests you should be able to do this "on the cheap". Visit a local dollar store and make up the gift baskets beforehand.
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#6 User is offline   Etiquette Now

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I agree. Anyone who is invited, is then hosted. But, if you don't invite people to the rehearsal dinner, you are not hosting. Just make sure all know who is and who is not invited.

One note though, you would be obligated to pay for the children of the bridal party if they had to travel with the parent since the parents had to travel for your wedding.
Rebecca Black, Etiquette Consultant, Etiquette Now

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