[aleiram]

I'm 28 and recently got engaged after being with him for 3 years. My father who is 62 started dating a divorced woman and he already told me he won't be dating for too long, that he is too old for that, and that he wants to get married quickly.

My mother passed away 3 years ago, and it has been very hard for me. Now that he found someone, she expects my dad to be with her at all times, not even taking into consideration that he has his own family (she seems very high-maintenance in that sense)... and it feels like I'm losing my dad now too. It feels like not only do I have to move on I also now have to get used to the idea that my dad won't be around as often.

Any advice or words of encouragement for me? And how can I tell my dad to take things slowly and to get to know her better.

[the_admin]

First, congratulations on your engagement. I understand that this is a bittersweet time for you. I lost my mom as a young teen and married without her by my side. It was important for me to have the support of my dad.

I know this might sound too simple, but have you tried speaking privately with your dad, asking him about his relationship? Maybe you can let him know that, while you're very happy he has found someone to share his life with, you hope your relationship won't be affected. He may just be caught up in the excitement of feeling alive again (I was widowed when I was in my late 20's too so I can see from both sides a bit). Give him some time and don't stop communicating with him.

I'd steer clear of criticizing his new companion. While you don't have to love this woman and have her as a best friend, giving her a chance and allowing her a little room to grow on you might go a long way with your dad. And who knows what will come of it?

I hope you'll come back and post a new reply to this thread to let us know how you're doing and what transpires.

Best of luck and happy wedding!