[MissusJ]

I really want to know if my format for our vow renewal sounds like a good idea.

A little background info--we will be married 5 years when the time comes for the renewal. We were married at city hall in front of 7 people, and want to say our vows in front of the people who never got to witness our vows. We want a memory for our kids who of course never got to witness our marriage. Our marriage and vows mean more since we have been together for some time, now.

Could someone tell me if this sounds like an acceptable, proper vow renewal?:

There will be 30-50 guests.

We will say our personalized vows at church around 1pm. My father will be the "officiant". Our son will walk down with me, and my husband and daughter will walk down together. We will meet each other at the altar and say our vows.

Our reception will be at 2pm-3:30pm, so it is going to be less formal. We will serve hors d'oeuvres, cake, (maybe have a few pies) and champagne. There will be music, but no dancing. (I'd like to have something fun to do, but I cannot think of anything that would fit into such a small time period--any ideas are welcome).

We will take informal photos with guests and each other during the reception, and official photos afterward.

Is this too much like a wedding?

[Etiquette Now]

Dear MissusJ,

It sure sounds like a wedding to me. The aisle and altar are very wedding-like. But, it is difficult to alter that to make it less so. The biggest issue is that this isn't a ceremony for church recognition, which is why most host vow renewal so soon. So, it doesn't make much sense for the guests and the renewal for this anniversary. It isn't a bench mark occasion.

If you could include language in your vows that clearly state that you are "renewing" it should be received more positively. Plus, the more you can ensure that the ceremony does not appear to be a wedding (attire and atmosphere) the better. The party should appear to be an anniversary party.

But in the end, 5 years doesn't give you much to renew. And, sharing a 5th year anniversary party with guests, isn't the best. Hopefully these guests are very close family and friends.

Best wishes,