[jmccreery]

I'm getting married for the 2nd time in February, I have a 7 year old and 4 year old from my previous marriage and in August will have one from my fiance. We've decided, due to finances and our wishes, that we'll be getting married on Miami beach then taking a cruise with friends and family. We've decided to go without children. I do want my kids involved in a ceremony somehow. Thought about a short ceremony here at home with the church including them prior to going. Not making anything legal but some sort of "commitment ceremony" for my children to be part of. Any suggestions??

[RevSusanna]

You will need to speak with your church first. If you do not get married in the church, they may not be willing to do the "committment ceremony".

However, after you get married legally, they may be willing to "bless" your family.

Each church has their own rules and way of doing things.

I would call and speak to the Pastor.

Another option would be to first have the legal/spiritual ceremony at the church with your children --- then have a symbolic ceremony at Miami beach.

[Etiquette Now]

That is a bit tricky though. A commitment ceremony is one that is done instead of a wedding, not in addition to one. And, hosting two wedding ceremonies isn't polite or proper for guests. So, one would have to be private. It is best to either include your children in the ceremony or not.

Please also remember that any child who is invited to the wedding must also be invited to the reception. Since the only children may be yours, you might not have a problem with this.

Plus, please remember that you two are responsible for all costs of all your guests for your cruise.

[the_admin]

I was thinking the same about the "commitment ceremony" since that's usually a term used for civil or same sex weddings.
Why not have the wedding ceremony here with a small "reception" afterward (like a cake and coffee or champagne type thing)? Then your children will really feel included and you can go off on your honeymoon cruise. That shouldn't cost much at all. It's really important for the kids to feel like they aren't loosing a mother, but gaining a bigger family.