[usmcsweetie09]

My husband and I have been married for 7 years and plan on renewing our wedding vows next January. He will be coming back from what will be his last deployment in the Marines. We are planing our vow renewal to take place on the beach. We are inviting only our close friend and family, so that will be about 20 people, or 10 couples. Most of these people live in colorado and florida (we live in Arizona). Because of money issues, I know that they will need to be notified of our plans as soon as possible, so they can save up money and make plans to take leave. I have heard so many different things and I have searched this site and I don't see the answer to my question anywhere. When should we send out save-the-date cards? I have heard I need to do it now so people will have plenty of time and that I can just let people know it will be in San Diego in January 2011. I have also heard wait until 3 weeks before the event. I know if I wait that long, no one will be able to come. What is the correct way to go about making sure our friends and family are aware of our plans and can all attend?

[Etiquette Now]

Dear Usmcsweetie09,

Save the dates may be sent now, but are not considered invitations. You are just requesting your future guests to save the date. Invitations may be sent about 6 to 8 weeks before your event. Please remember that the vow renewal is not a wedding and shouldn't appear to be one. Vow renewals hosted so soon after a wedding (not hosted on a bench mark anniversary) can be viewed negatively. So, please don't be offended if your guests don't attend. However, it appears that you are hosting a small, intimate affair, so you may not have a problem.

Please also note that this isn't a gift giving event. Your guests may be confused about gift giving, so you may have to inform them.

Best wishes,