[jmm]

Hello. I have the similar questions as do everyone else. I too didn't have the traditional "wedding". It was by the JP, at my mothers house with my daughter. We have our personal reasons why we couldn't have the traditional "wedding". I too wanted the gorgeous gown, and the attendants and my father to walk me down the aisle. First off we decided to renew our vows on our 5th anniversary. I know its "against the rules" to wear the gown and what-not; but who made up these "rules"? Granted I'm already a married woman, but why does the dress that I want to wear has to be a pretty but not traditional dress? Why can't I or anyone for that matter wear what they want to wear at their ceremony if they haven't had the wedding that they wanted? I don't know. When I got married I was happy don't get me wrong but it just felt incomplete. And my husband agrees. I've talked to my family and close friends and they seem to approve, and they know I'm not playing dress up or want them to give us gifts. We want to have the party afterwards but no first dance or father/daughter dance. Please advise. Thank you!

[Etiquette Now]

Dear Jmm,

I could write a very long reply, as I have multiple times, about why it is inappropriate to host a wedding for yourself when you are already married. But, it appears to me that it wouldn't matter. You have already made up your mind on this. If not, you could try reading our very many posts on exactly this topic.

We do not make up these rules, collective society does. Those who do not know the rules or blatantly break them appear less than socially savvy or rude. You have a decision to follow socially acceptable rules or not. There are many chat rooms available to those who choose to mentor each other in how to get what they want no matter what anyone else thinks is appropriate. You could visit those sites for advise.

Best wishes,