[momto2boys07]

My husband and I are renewing our vows on our 10 year anniversary next summer. We would like to include our two boys, ages 9 and 2, in the ceremony. I have read that candle lighting and sand ceremonies are not appropriate. Can someone give me suggestions for ways to include our boys that are appropriate? Thank you!

[the_admin]

I don't know where you read that these ceremonies are inappropriate, but I disagree. There is a family unity candle especially made for families and the sand ceremony does work with families as well. There are smaller vases you can buy separately which are used for the kids. I think Reverend Susanna has mentioned that in this forum before. Try doing a search to find her quote.

If you have an officiant offering the ceremony perhaps he/she can offer some help with the wording for vow renewals.

[momto2boys07]

I think I read that since the ceremonies are meant to signify the joining of two and since we are already joined, its inappropriate. Thank you for clearing it up for me. Do you think a sand ceremony would look funny in a backyard/garden ceremony? My youngest will be two and I think working with sand will be better than fire.

[Etiquette Now]

I'm not sure about how it would appear, silly or no. But, these ceremonies are appropriate as long as they focus on the family renewing a vow of love and not the joining of two people. It just shouldn't appear to be a wedding.

[the_admin]

Yes, as long as the ceremonies are written in such a way as to highlight the intention, then you're fine.

That's funny about the sand vs. fire, but I think the 2 year old can be helped by you and your husband to light the candle. That would be very sweet. But, sand in the garden could be fine since it's all from nature. But, that's a personal decision. []

[momto2boys07]

Thank you both so much for your replies! []