[citygirl]

I am marrying a wonderful Catholic man who was married once before but not in the Church. He is filling out the annulment paperwork. I too was married before but I am not of the Catholic faith. We are planning to get married in an outdoor civil ceremony. I would like to convert to Catholicism & join the church after our marriage. Do I have to pursue an annulment from my previous marriage to do so?

[startingover]

The short answer is--yes, you will have to get your first marriage annulled if you wish to have your second marriage recognized and blessed by the Catholic Church. Your fiance is most likely filling out the short annulment form used by Catholics who marry outside the Church. This form of annulment usually takes only a few days.

However, you will need to fill out the longer form, which may take several months to process. Although intensive, the annulment questions can help you understand what was wrong with your previous marriage so you can avoid making the same mistakes again. By answering the questions completely and honestly, you can begin to heal from the pain, grief, or anger in your past and place your faith solidly in a God of incredible love and grace.

It is commendable that you wish to join your fiance in the Catholic faith. As a non-Catholic at this time, it may be helpful for you to understand that an outdoor civil ceremony will constitute another wedding outside the Church for your fiance. This choice puts him out of a state of grace, according to canon law, and your union will not be accepted by the Church as sacramental and binding. Your marriage can be blessed later on by a convalidation ceremony but until then he will be going against his Church's teachings and this could jeopardize his faith.

Please talk with a priest who can deepen your understanding of Church matters. It's wonderful that you have found love again, but it seems your marriage may be starting on shaky ground.

May God guide you in your decisions.