[MayanApocolypse]

For the most part I've gotten many answers from your site, and for that I'm grateful. Though one thing that has been haunting me is my maid of honor for my first wedding. I'm finding that most of the men around me, particularly that are interested in me, have not been married before. If I get married, it will be my second wedding. At this point my apprehensions have been keeping me from dating because of this.

My main issue is my best friend who lives on the east coast while I'm on the west. She flew all the way here for my first wedding to be my maid of honor. Now if he wants a larger wedding, which I have discussed with someone I'd dated before, and actually would love to have a second chance with, I'm not sure if it would be rude to ask her again, or if she would be more offended if I didn't invite her as my maid of honor. The rest of my bridal party would be different, but I've known her since she was 5.

[Etiquette Now]

Dear MayanApocolypse,

Sure you could ask her and allow her to decide for herself. But, please make sure you are ready for this commitment. Your comment: "Now if he wants a larger wedding, which I have discussed with someone I'd dated before, and actually would love to have a second chance with" worries me. Please make sure of your commitment to the wedding before asking anyone to spend their money and time.

Best wishes,

[MayanApocolypse]

A clumsy sentence more than anything, I think. There is one man I was serious with in the past (long and complicated story) that we've considered a serious relationship once again. The issue is that we've talked about marriage and children before, and so I know that he wants a larger wedding. Many guys I know are the same for their first wedding, and everyone who's courted me so far has never been married, causing some awkwardness. My worries and fears over inviting so many people to another wedding of mine was making me shy away from most serious relationships. The big one that plagued me is my maid of honor due to her distance from me. And regardless of how things turn out now, I felt it was likely I would get married again. Though, as you said, I'm not going to be asking her or others about this until a date has been set, at the very least.

Unfortunately I'm one of those types who can't help but think fifty steps ahead. A future probability often causes me to reconsider my current actions and considerations.

[Etiquette Now]

Good. I'm glad you are considering all aspects of your relationships. But, don't worry about hosting a bigger event for your second wedding if both of you decide you'd like it. It is perfectly fine to do so.