[mmercer]

My friend is renewing her wedding vows, they have been married 16 years and did not get married in the Church. They have met all the requirements of the Catholic Church and will have the church ceremony that they have always wanted. They have two daughters 6 & 7 years old and they will stand up for then. It will be a simple ceremony with close friends and family. Afterward we are going to have dinner, I am going to put linens and flowers on the tables. They will have a cake and a family photo table. At the dinner, each person will be responsible to pay for their own meal. The location will have a private room, menu and open bar. Does she put that on the invitation or just the ceremony information and verbally invite anyone who wants to join them for dinner? How does this work?
Regards,

Michele

[Etiquette Now]

Dear Michele,

If she invites guests, she is expected to pay for them. It is never polite to ask guests to pay for the party. And, since she is setting this up as a reception/anniversary type party, she and her husband should pay for everything. If they cannot afford to pay, they should scale the party down to one they can afford.

Best wishes,

[the_admin]

What they will be planning is not a vow renewal. In the catolic Church this ceremony is called a convalidation ceremony and you can read more about how to plan one of those right here on this website. It's not at all like a wedding, so please plan it carefully.

If you send an invitation then you're inviting (and paying). You really can't invite someone to pay for their own dinner. How would that go..? "We're having a party and if you'd like to attend here are the costs?".
I agree with Rebecca. Either scale down the guest list or plan it for a time of day when you don't have to serve a meal. Maybe host a cake and champagne reception?

Please offer our congratulations on their successful marriage.