[pabride]

I am a Catholic woman who has never been married. I am engaged to a divorced Catholic man. His divorce came about when his wife of 18 years was unfaithful to him. He has three wonderful children from his previous marriage, ages 20, 17 and 12. I have never been a consistant church goer and I have been baptized, but never confirmed. Is there any way we can get married in a Catholic church? He is not receptive to the idea of having his first marriage annulled. He would be quite happy with a small informal civil ceremony...it's me who would like to be married by the church.

[startingover]

Getting married in the Catholic Church is impossible unless your fiance gets his first marriage annulled. He may be hesitant because of his own past. Being married for 18 years yet having a 20-year-old son or daughter implies some actions that may not be consistent with Church teaching. If he married outside the Church, there is a shortened form of annulment that takes only a few days.

Without an annulment, you could be married in a civil court or in a non-Catholic church, but the Catholic Church would not consider your marriage sacramental. Strictly speaking, you would not be married in the eyes of the Church

Please speak with a priest and give him all the details. Whatever direction you choose, you are still entering into a lifelong commitment, so please get some good pre-marriage counseling. It could save you both much disappointment or heartache later.

God bless and guide you both.

[pabride]

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to imply that my fiancee had any of his children out of wedlock. His first marriage lasted 18 years and he has been divorced for four years. He just doesn't feel it is necessary to go throught he annullment process. I honestly don't feel it necessary either, I am more than willing to get married in a non-Catholic church, (I just can't wait to be his wife!). I just figured it couldn't hurt to see if there was any way to do it other than an annullment. Thank you for your response and advice.