[brendian]

My husband and I get into debates over this subject: I would like to renew our vows on our 10th anniversary in 2005 and having the wedding every girl wants (nothing extravagent though) but my husband says it won't be the same for him. We first got married by the JP and in 2000 when we baptized our daughter we did a spur of the moment renewing of vows as part of the baptisim but it was nothing like a wedding, though we did have family and friends from out of town there by chance. But I'm wanting the wedding dress,reception,etc. because we have no wedding memories. My husband feels that it would be awkward to have a wedding and inviting the same people that were there the last time and expecting them to consider coming. Plus he says that it would'nt be as special if we would have just done it right that last time. Am I just being selfish or is my husband right?

[Jill]

Tricky situation - you cant have the wedding you want if your husband doesnt want it! Perhaps you need to do a lot more talking to get him to see how much this would mean to you. He needs to understand that the 'spur of the moment' wedding is something you still dont feel happy about. Listen to what he has to say too, and maybe there can be some kind of compromise. There is no 'right' or 'wrong' here - just two people looking at the situation from a different position.