[susiekitty65]

My husband has asked me to marry him again (we are still married) and wants to have a vow renewal ceremony. Our first ceremony was terrible. His mother took over and deemed what was appropriate and what she thought we should have, his sister behaved badly and made terrible remarks before and after our ceremony, needless to say we are older and wiser now and know what we SHOULD have done but didn't. My question: How formal can a vow renewal be, my husband wants to go all out and have formal dress complete with flowers and cake and everything. My friends and children are all for it and have volunteered to plan this. But all the stuff I have been reading acts like it is highly unappropriate. HELP! I'll admit the thought of renewing our vows and having a small ceremony with close friends and select family members sounds great! I just don't want people talking afterwards and mocking it. We will be married 23 years this year and were high school sweethearts.

[Etiquette Now]

Dear Susie,

Yes, typically when a husband and wife host an event that mirrors a wedding, there are snickers and remarks. This shouldn't appear to be a wedding--none of the traditional wedding elements. Although, there are vows and perhaps an exchange of new rings.

This could be more formal, but again, shouldn't appear to be a wedding--no wedding gown or wedding cake (unless it is a replica of your wedding cake).

Please read more about vow renewal etiquette.

Best wishes,