[klpowell]

A good friend of mine is engaged to a man who has been married 5 times before (4 wives, one he married twice) and is 22 years older than she is. She is 40 and he is 62. When discussing wedding plans, she thinks it is okay to have any size or any formality of wedding since it will be her first time. Most of her friends and family don't agree and think it would be in bad taste for her to have a big wedding. She doesn't really want a large wedding but he does. What is the proper thing to do?

[Etiquette Now]

Dear Friend of the Bride,

We really should move on from the notion that those who have been married before shouldn't have a large wedding, or any type of wedding they wish. Those married more than one time is so common now. Plus, your friend hasn't been married before. So, she should have the wedding she wants.

The major difference in this wedding and a first would be that all those who gave gifts to the groom the first time are not obligated to give this time. Other than that... it is a first for the both of them.

Best wishes,