[jome06]

Hi,
I recently got engaged, this will be my second marriage. My 5 year old daughter want to be the flower girl in my wedding. My fiance and I want her to be in our wedding, I would like for her to walk me down the aisle. Is is okay for her to play the role of flower girl and walking me down the aisle? Could she drop petals as we walk?
Also, I haven't told her yet that I'm engaged, what would be a cute way of letting her know?
Thanks![]

[Etiquette Now]

Dear Including a Daughter,

You can customize your wedding most any way you wish as long as it is in good taste. This is fine.

Please inform her in private so she can be honest about her feelings.

Best wishes,

[Yvonne Kelly]

I think it's a positive thing that she wants to be a part of the wedding and that you and your fiance are including her in this way. She is no doubt excited about the wedding which many kids are, but keep in mind that although this is very exciting for her, there will be a lot of adjustment issues, some you may not even be aware of for her, until after you marry. Keep an open mind to her questions and feelings and encourage her to talk to you about all of it. There are a number of good books available to help you prepare for your new life in a blended family and they will give you a heads up on some of the things that your daughter may experience as she expands her world to include a new stepfather, and as she learns that she will be sharing you with your new partner as well. Stepparenting - Everything You Need to Know to Make it Work by Jeannette Lofas is a good book to introduce you to some of the issues that parents, stepparents and children experience in a blended family. YOu can also check out my website at www.stepinstitute.ca for additional resources. Best of Luck.