[j_a3]

My husband and I are wanting to renew our wedding vows for our five year anniversary. We did not have a formal wedding and would like to wear a wedding dress and tux. I know this is not a wedding, so I do not want a white dress, I would like one with color, but just as fancy. I woud also like to include a rose ceremony in to it and involve the children. We are also going to have a party afterwards. I would like to have the first dance as husband and wife then, also. I have never danced with my husband! Would these things be appropriate and if not could you offer some alteernitives? Thank you.

[Etiquette Now]

Dear 5 Year Anniversary,

I don't know what a rose ceremony is, so I can't comment on that. But, a wedding dress wouldn't be appropriate no matter what color, because this isn't a wedding. There are so many wonderful semi-formal dresses to choose from that do not appear to be a wedding dress. So, you should be able to find one you like.

We have answered so many questions just like this. It may be best to read our many posts on this subject. Also, please read about vow renewal etiquette.

Best wishes,

[j_a3]

Thank you for your response. I still have one question thought. I have read on this site that at at the party afterwards you can do things similar to the reception, but not the same, and you should not do the first dance as husband and wife. Where we have never danced together would this still be inappropriate?

[Etiquette Now]

It is thought that you two have been married for some time, so it isn't your 'first dance' as husband and wife. A first dance symbolizes your coming together as a married couple. So, call it something else. Begin the 'special' dance alone and call all of those who have been married over five years to join you.

There are ways to make many elements appear proper. It just takes a bit of tweaking.